I'm here for you

"I'm fine"

People lie everyday. The most common one is "I'm fine" (or I have read and agreed to the terms and conditions)

Most people ask others how they are and they are lied to.

Not because they want to keep it to themselves. It's because they don't want to burden people with their problems.

Everyday I get asked how I am by teachers, counsellors and friends. I say "I'm fine" or "I'm okay" a lot of the time I don't mean it.

Once those two words are said no one really asks after that. I have my closest friends who know when I'm lying but that's about it. In a year of around 232 girls (a school of over 1000) five people know when I lie. Without those five people I wouldn't be alive today.

However no one really knows why I'm not actually fine.

They know I have anxiety and that I used to self harm.

No one knows however that every night I lie awake until 3am because my mind won't stop going over everything that's ever went wrong.

That I cry myself to sleep a lot of the time because the anxiety is ruining me and the demons are too strong.

That every single time I see any of my friends I compare myself to how pretty and skinny and liked they are.

That every time I talk to them my head goes "they don't actually like you they just feel pity."

That every time I look in a mirror at home I cry.

That every time I see myself in the mirrors in the fitness room I want nothing more than to break down because of my reflection.

"I'm fine" can cover a lot of things that are slowly killing someone.

Not many people actually try to see what someone is actually hiding.

I want everyone to say how they really feel. No has to ask, just say it. To a friend, teacher, family member whoever you want.

You should never ever be ashamed of saying how you feel.

I want everyone to also make sure that the answer they are given is the truth.

It takes a lot for a person to open up and say how they really feel.

I couldn't say what I put in my descriptions to someone's face. That's why I've put them on here.

Make sure someone knows they can trust you.

I love you guys stay strong <3