Bound To The Stars

Balm & Bombs.

Today's my birthday!!!! And this is my gift to you guys 🌼.

"I don't know how to say this but I'm in love with you Hanan, in fact I've been in love with you since like forever. I kept it to myself and wanted to tell you when we were in SS2 but then you started dating Ibrahim and I was heart broken. I didn't say anything cause you were so happy and one thing I love is seeing you happy. Then you started dating that Amir guy and again I was crushed. I wanted to move on and forget about you but still I couldn't take you off my mind. I came back to win your heart. You're the only one I could spend a whole day with, without getting bored. You make me see the world in a different way. You're the only one who makes me happy. I love you when you're happy, sad, angry and even when your emotions are all over the place and I'm using this opportunity to ask you if you'd like to be my girlfriend?"

I stared at him in disbelief. I couldn't even swallow the fries I was eating. 

To say I was shocked was an understatement.

I liked Fai but I didn't exactly like like him.

We were close and I shared all my secrets with him but that didn't mean I was in love with him.

I didn't want to break his heart but if I said yes I'd be lying to myself and him in the process.

I only saw him as a brother and a close friend.

"Fai.." I managed to say. "You're a great guy and I like you, I do. I mean you're like my best friend but I just don't feel that way about you. I'm sorry but I don't even think I'm ready for a relationship now to be honest."

He kept quiet and then replied after a few minutes.

"Why don't you think about it? Just give me a chance to prove to you I can make you happy Hanan."

I didn't know what to say again.

I had already started liking Adnan and i wanted to give him a chance.

We just sat down in silence and I realised I had lost my appetite so I asked him to take me home.

The drive home was even worse, Fai was not paying attention to the road I had to tell him to allow me drive.

Finally we arrived home in one piece.

He mumbled a goodbye and drove off.

I was really sad but I just had to be honest with him. At least it was better than leading him on and then hurting him in the process.

♠️

I was heading out of class when I noticed Adnan in the school garden. I decided to go meet him.

It looked like he was speaking on the phone. The back of his bench was turned to me so he didn't notice me coming.

As I came closer, I heard him saying something like baby. I was not a fan of eavesdropping on people's conversation but I just had to listen to this one.

"Baby I'm so sorry." he said.

It was obvious he was talking to a girl.

"I know I said I was going to come last weekend but something came up but don't worry I'll make it up to you kinji baby."

I was shocked.

Adnan had a girlfriend.

He turned around and saw me standing.

"Oh hey, Hanan. What are you doing standing there? I was just talking to my girlfriend and I can't wait for you guys to meet up. I was planning on introducing her to you this weekend and I know you guys would make great friends."

My heart was broken into several pieces.

I didn't even know why I was upset. It's not like he had ever said anything about liking me.

He was nice but he just liked me as a friend. Now I know how Fai felt when I rejected his proposal.

I made up an excuse that I needed to go home early and left.

I didn't want him to see me cry.

I got in to my car and cried my eyes out.

When I got home, Ma noticed my red eyes and asked me what had happened but I just told her something got into my eye and I went to my room.

♠️

I had just finished watching TV and was about to go to bed when I received a call from Fai.

He hadn't called me in days and I understood his plight. He needed space.

I was also giving Adnan space. I got the message and I decided to avoid him. There was no point hanging out with him again unless I wanted to hurt myself.

Fai said he wanted us to talk and that he'll come over to our house tomorrow.

He came over and we sat down at the swing.

That was when he dropped the bombshell.