Mania

Lesson 13. Openness

Clemence lost sense of reality, an odd sense of airy detachment, an onslaught of ignitions to her senses so that every single sense in her body seemed to amalgamate into one force.

Pressure on her lips and hips and the taste of sweetness on his lips and the deep smell of his cologne and the soft sounds and the blackness behind her eyelids as her eyes fell shut and the touch and smell and sounds and the touch and the pressure on her lips again and again and again.

He slowly pulled back, a hand falling from her face where it had cupped her cheek, his other arm withdrawing, she felt his warm breath exhale as he drew back, felt the weight of him remove.

She opened her eyes and stared, blinking slowly, only then the reality of the situation sinking in as her senses were freed.

Her professor.

Had she seen it? Had she seen any signs? He had been attentive to her, been kind, stern but fair... had it all been because of this?

What about herself? Had she not seen it in herself? How could she have ignored the way her heart thumped around him and how she became aware of every movement, movements from herself and from him, within his presence she was aware of everything, when she was away from him she often replayed their conversations, revisited the looks he gave her, checked her emails, held her breath until he walked into the lecture hall....

'Here.'

He spoke softly, a few steps away from her and she stood unmoving, staring at him.

He picked up the paper again and handed it out to her, this time keeping his distance.

'Like I said, these are my own personal notes I work from so they should be of huge benefit.'

She listened to the smooth roll of his words, barely registering what he had actually said.

'Um.'

'Are you going to take it?' He drawled a small lift on an eyebrow as he looked at her, face passive and the last lingering senses dissipated from Clemence's mind.

A creeping embarrassment, a slither of frustration and wave of confusion rose up in her, caused a flush in her cheeks, made her jolt forward suddenly, nodding.

'Yeah, thanks.'

She took the paper from his waiting hand quickly, snatching it close to her body as she watched him

He raised an eyebrow again and Clemence did her best to compose herself, feeling the heat in her cheeks and the tremble of her fingers.

She looked at him as he stared back indifferently and she wondered if she had hit her head, hallucinated, imagined the previous events of the last few minutes.

That was until he tilted his head and smiled at her, a knowing smile, a tilt of the lip that lifted up the side of his face wickedly.

'I'll see you on Monday Clemence.' He spoke slowly and she shook her head, shoved the paper into her bag and nodded at him.

'Yeah, see you.' She said quickly, turning and yanking the door open and hurrying out of his office, rushing down the school corridors, unaware of anyone else around her as he brain scrambled to try and keep up with her thoughts, her legs powered her through, bumping into people and knocking bodies out of the way as she tore into the parking lot, yanked her car door open, threw her school bag in and her body followed suit into the front seat, slammed the door shut behind her and let out a long breath.

She was breathing rapidly, she realised this, as she ran her hands through her hair, searching for something, looking around her car as if she could find a visible answer to pluck from thin air as to what, why, how that had just happened.