Mania

Lesson 12. Grief

On returning to her house that evening, Clemence was struck with a feeling of unease to see her mother sitting at the dining table, her head in her hands, her laptop open in front of her.

Clemence dropped her bag onto the kitchen floor and took two hesitant steps forward.

'Mom?'

Her mother looked up suddenly and Clemence's heart sunk like an anchor to the pit of the ocean in her stomach. Her mother's warm face was contorted in pain, mascara bled down her cheeks and her eyes were glazed, her lips trembling and hands shaking.

'Mom! What's happened?' Clemence cried, running towards her mom and reaching her arms out desperately.

Her mother looked at her, fresh tears swelling and escaping the rims of her eyes. She smiled weakly, shakily, shook her head, closed her eyes.

'Your grandfather....' Her mother stopped, took a breath as Clemence watched hopelessly, heart thumping. 'My father.' Her voice broke at those words and a shrill sob escaped her mouth. 'Darling....he...he had a heartache this morning. He didn't...he couldn't..there was nothing they could do, the doctors got there too late, he was already gone.' The last words spilled out as a heart wrenching cry and Clemence threw her arms around her mother's shaking frame, cradled her head, stroked her hair, felt her stomach churn and her own eyes burn with grief.

'Oh mom.'

They sat in silence, the time stretching on as Clemence's mother clung to her desperately and Clemence tried to provide what little comfort she knew how to, battling her own grief, trying to cope with the shift in the mother daughter balance.

'It's just so unexpected. He had been fine, active, healthy....it just came out of nowhere. I'm so far away from him and he's gone....' Her mother spoke softly, like a child, trailing off in sad confusion.

Clemence did not know what to say, just continued to curl over her mother as if shielding her from the world.

'I need to...I need to get things sorted. ' Her mother mumbled, breaking away and shaking her head, rubbing at her eyes furiously.

'I need to...I need to book a flight, get there straight away, I need to be with my mom.'

'Of course.'

'The funeral...it's this week... I need to get us down there as soon as possible.' Her mother was shaking her head, turning to her laptop and began to type rapidly, eyes shining.

'It's that soon?'

Her mother nodded, the laptop screen illuminating the smears of makeup and wet trails across her skin.

'Mom...it's okay...it can wait.' Clemence said softly, watching with worry, offering a hand.

'No, no, no ,no, it can't wait, I need to get this sorted now, I need to be there now.' Her mother was clenching her jaw, a fresh set of tears.

'Mom...mom...' Clemence tried as her mother refused to look up, tears now steadily overflowing again. 'Mom, stop.' Clemence put a hand on her mom's arm and her mother looked up at her helplessly.

'I'lll do it...I'll find a flight...I'll sort It out okay?' Clemence told her mother, adopting the soft tone she had often received from her mother in times of ditress.

Her mother paused, closed her eyes and nodded.

'Okay.' Her voice cracked.

Clemence slowly took the laptop out of her mother's hand and began to search through the airlines.