Mania

Lesson 19: Lies

Clemence picked mindlessly at the loose bit of skin around her fingernail as she read through the same paragraph for the fifth time, her mind wandering once again after the first sentence, unable to absorb any meaning from the words, the letters morphing and melting into blurry shapes as her eyes struggled to focus.

Distracted. Distracted. Distracted.

"Focus Clemence, come on." She tapped her forehead with the heel of her hand, shifting, laying down on her bed so that the text was right under her nose, willing herself to take it in.

She tried again, fingers picking at the skin, muttering the words out loud, hoping they would find a way to break through the hazy film swallowing her brain.

Her phone pinged from beside her and she jumped at the distraction, grabbing the device from besides her, almost hoping for a melodramatic message from Erin to light up across the screen.

Are you free to talk?

Clemence moved, sitting bolt upright on her heels, tucking her knees as she held the phone in front of her face.

Leon

The reason why her mind was hazy, why words kept slipping across the page, why she couldn't remember when this next piece of work was due, why it was so damn hard to just sit and concentrate. 

She couldn't focus.

Can i call you? 

Clemence read the message, her finger picking at the skin of her thumb slipped, slicing the thin hangnail off and letting blood well up in the crease of her nail.

"Damn it." She muttered,  fumbling out of bed and wrapping it in a tissue, heart hammering, fingers trembling across the keypad as she replied.

Yes.

She stood in the center of her room, pressing hard to stop the bleeding, ears ringing as she sent the message, hesitating before hurrying out of her room, running to the staircase and peering downstairs, eyes searching down the hall to see her mother's study door shut but a small ray of yellow light leaking out from the bottom of it, telling Clemence what she wanted to know.

She raced back to her room, shutting the door, heart hammering, running a hand through her hair and settling onto the edge of her bed, phone in hand gingerly, as if she was handling a grenade.

She picked up on the first ring, hating how she had been holding her breath for so long that she let out a suddenly, shaky exhale for him to hear.

"Clemence." The usual low, indifferent greeting.

"Hi." She replied, squeezing her eyes shut, awkward, unsure, anxious....excited.

"Good evening Clemence. How are you?" His tone changed slightly, more playful.

"I'm okay, just doing some homework. How are you? Is something wrong?" She rushed the words out.

He chuckled. "Everything's fine. I'm just not much into the whole texting thing."

She breathed. "Okay."

"I apologize for distracting you from your schoolwork. I'm hoping that's my essay you're working on?"

Clemence smiled, the amused lilt to his voice settling her nerves slightly. "Definitely not. It's not high on my to do list at the moment."

"You're lucky you're the only one in my class who can get away with saying that."

Clemence bit her lip, fingers kneading and pulling at her duvet, eyes darting to the door, as if her mother could hear her racing heart from downstairs and was going to burst through any second.