Just pretend...

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Jack pov

I was tired.

Tired of pretending.

Tired of pretending that I didn't love her.

Tired of knowing I could never have her but not being able to shake the feelings away.

They were there.

They were always there.

I put my head in my hands and move to the end of my bed. I didn't want to go downstairs. Going downstairs would mean I would have to see them, together. I couldn't stand to go down and see that one more time. I couldn't do that to myself, I wouldn't do that to myself.

Of course I was happy for them. They were perfect for each other. But seeing them together just made me realize that I couldn't have her.

I couldn't hold her hand when we walk down the street. I couldn't grab her waist and hug her from behind when she was cooking us dinner. I couldn't cuddle up next to her when we watched a movie. I couldn't have late night conversations with her about what our future might bring. I couldn't kiss her goodnight every night.

I kissed her once. That just made my feelings even more confusing. I knew I liked her from he moment I saw her walk into our house with her brother.

Her beautiful blonde hair that was the perfect amount of wavy. Her hazel eyes that sparked just right when the sun hit them. Her tiny little dimple she gets on her left cheek when she smiles a certain way. Her long, dark eyelashes that were always perfectly in place. Her little nose ring that looked so cute on her. Of course I noticed on the small details, how could someone not just want to stare at her when she's so goddamn beautiful.

I had to stop doing this. I didn't want to have feelings for her obviously. He's my best friend I could never do that to him. But I couldn't get it to get out of my mind.

I was snapped out of my thoughts when I heard my door creak open. I see Jonah walk into my room and sit down next to me.

I didn't want to tell him. I hadn't told anyone. I always just put on a fake smile and pretend like I'm okay.

There's that word. Pretend. I've been doing a lot of that lately. Jonah doesn't speak for a while. I don't know why he was in here.

J: "what's wrong man" he says after a few moments
Ja: "nothing I'm fine" I say back
J: "jack I know you and you are not fine"
Ja: "I don't want to talk about it"
J: "please I want to help you"
Ja: "have you ever liked a girl you know you can't have" he looks surprised when I say it
J: "no I haven't" I just sigh I didn't want to talk about it
J: "do I know this girl"
Ja: "all to well" I let out a breathy laugh
J: "jack you need to tell me because if it is who I think it is then we have a problem" I stay silent and Jonah shakes his head.
J: "it's Kirstin isn't it" I just nod my head.
J: "you know you can't-" I cut him off
Ja: "you think I don't know this Jonah, Daniel is my best friend I would never even think about it, I want these feelings that I have to go away but I can't"
J: "you have to find someone else"
Ja: "it's not that easy" I say standing up frustrated
J: "why" he asks
Ja: "because.... because I'm in love with her Jo"
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Oh snap drammaaa😂 sorry this chapters kinda short but two chapters in one day wow I think that deserves a round of applause.... no no one okay😂 anywho love y'all! Take it easy fam peace ✌🏻

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