Beautifully Damaged

14. Caring

Frustrated beyond despair, I turned and slammed a clenched fist against my car. Sharp pain shot into my wrist, but I barely noticed it above my anger.

Bear blinked up at me sleepily, having missed my whole conversation with Alex. I had wanted everything to work for me, to turn out as expected for once. How could I have not seen that coming?

The white-hot fury that had tainted my veins faded out bit by bit.

He knew.

It was the only thing that was keeping me together, yet tearing me apart at the seams.

Why wouldn't he tell me? Nothing added up. Between Alex and Drake, they kept me guessing enough for a lifetime. It wasn't necessarily a good thing.

One thing was for sure, no matter what, I would get my answers. The only problem was, that I had no idea what to do.

That definitely sounded familiar.

***

We were supposed to be writing up an experiment in Biology, but Jenna chose to distract me with her idle chat instead. I can't say that it was a bad thing.

"Do not tell me that the way Alex stood up for you, didn't impress you, at all." She warned quietly, a knowing glint in her eyes and a smile tugging at her lips.

I shook my head, fighting a laugh deep in my chest. "Of course it did, but it doesn't change anything."

It would be disastrous to tell Jenna about what had happened last weekend- the nightmare, Drake... my conversation with Alex. I was holding more secrets than I should from Jenna. Or was I? My head throbbed and I halted my train of thought. .

Jenna bit her pen, leaning on one hand as she stared into space, her brows creased. After a short while, I put my pen back to paper and returned to working.

"You're different, you know that?" She asked, refocusing on me.

I stopped, mid-sentence. The steady strum of my heart jumped to a new level. I just looked at her blankly, hoping that she would elaborate.

"Any girl would jump at the chance to be around Alex, or Drake for that matter."

Mr. Blakely, the Biology teacher, glanced over and we dropped our heads and our pens to the paper. Jenna kept on, whispering slightly lower than before.

"But you just don't seem to care much."

I thought about that for a short while, writing out the method for the experiment while doing so.

Jenna hadn't known me for long, and hadn't been around the many times I'd been with Drake or had talked to Alex. She didn't even know that I had texted Alex.

Sighing heavily, I shrugged, "Life's too short, you know?" I replied simply, feeling the weight of truth in my words. "Why should I center my life around things like that so much? It seems like a waste of time."

"That's good," Jenna answered, quirking an eyebrow a pointing a pen to the left of the classroom, where she had been staring earlier. "Because it would not be good if you cared."

My pen ceased its strokes, and I glanced to the side from under my curtain of hair. For reasons unknown, my blood burned at what I saw.

Tina was draped across Drake's shoulder, demurely fluttering her eyelashes and flipping her hair over her shoulder. I was fairly certain that they were not talking about Biology.

It shouldn't have bothered me, but it did.

"Remember what I said before?" I asked, in a moment of disappointment. "I do care."