To Protect My Honor

Hard Choices IV

One day after the Fourth of July, I found myself dialing the number that Clay told me over the phone. 

I didn't know if Victoria would answer, but she did.

"Hi. It's Milton Walker! So good to hear your voice again," I said.

"Milton! I've heard all sorts of crazy things about you. That you're obsessing over me and trying to figure out how to undo our agreement not to talk anymore."

"You tricked me into that agreement!"

"Tricked? How so?"

"You got all kindhearted with me and said you didn't dislike me and you were just busy. But Nancy told me the truth. You had a hidden agenda to get me out of your life all along, because you can't take a little heat. Admit it!"

"I'm not going to admit it," she said, "because it's simply not true. But you obviously think it is. And I don't get you."

"What don't you get?"

"Why would you go after someone who you think actively dislikes you?"

"To protect my honor," I said.

"You're the one running your own honor into the ground. It's not a good look to hang on to people who used to be in your life."

"I let you off easy," I said. "I could have gone after you from day one and never let you see the end of it."

"Then why didn't you?"

"Because I try to be a nice person."

"Look, Milton. You accepted what Nancy said as true, but she was talking about me. Why would she be a more reliable source on me than me?"

"You didn't want to tell me you thought I was a possessive monster."

"Well, your actions speak for themselves on the possessive part," she said. "But you are not a monster. As a matter of fact, you seem like a good person who still needs to sort a few things out."

"So it's not true, then?"

"No! I told you what happened. If you want to deny the truth, I guess that's your right, but either way, please don't call me again."

"All right, I won't. After this, you've proven you're not even worth the time it takes me to harass you."

"Well, thank you," she said ironically. "That's very sweet of you."

"Yep. You're welcome. And I've had it."

Those were the last words I spoke before ending the call.

I called Michaela mid-morning, telling her that Victoria and I had spoken, and that it was very emotionally intense and that I thought I came off as too vitriolic.

She asked, "Well, does that make you feel any better?"

"Actually, I don't feel any better at all. I hoped that I would be able to talk things out with her, but my emotions got in the way. I basically just accused her of lying and berated her."

"Well, that's a crash course on how not to handle people right there. Kindness should always be everyone's policy. There's nothing noble about making people listen to you because they're afraid of how you could treat them - any coward can do that. And that's much less effective."

"The worst part is that it was just a misunderstanding," I told her. "She said that the truth was exactly what she told me back in January."

"And you believe her?"

"Yes. I think that she is a person who would tell me the truth if I confronted her for that purpose."