To Protect My Honor

Emotional Stirring I

Saturdays were for sleeping late, although I had not done anything that late the previous night. I woke up at five minutes to eleven and walked downstairs to find my mom making breakfast for Alice, the younger of my two younger sisters.

It was now October; nearly two months had passed since that pivotal day on Walloon Lake. I had started my post-high-school studies at Glendale Community College, and I thought I was doing okay.

"Do we have any cereal," I asked.

"Yes," said my mom. She handed me a bowl, and I went and got the cereal box.

"Did you sleep well?"

"Yeah."

My mom smiled at me. Even six days before my nineteenth birthday, she still saw me as her baby son.

Two days earlier, my school acquaintance Joe Steadman asked me what my goals for October were, as it was the first of the month.

"I haven't really thought of that," I said.

"Interesting," he said. "What have you been up to, then? Going on Facebook comment threads to solicit dates?"

"No," I said. "Where in the world did you get that idea?"

He shrugged. I was going to tell him about the phase of my life that had just commenced, yet thought better of it.

I actually met many people on that trip, and Victoria was but one of them. On the way back to Pasadena, I thought of them all equally. For some reason, however, we had opened correspondence in the preceding week over Facebook; it was only then I truly discovered how interesting she was.

It was never meant to be. It just happened.

As I ate my cereal, I looked out the window at the front lawn. It was going to be a very warm day, but that was relatively common in Pasadena, even early in the fall. 

"Well," I said. "I talked a little more with Victoria last night."

"Oh," said my mom. "How was that?"

"Good. She's doing well. It's just been a little hard for her to adjust to big-city life."

"I can imagine," said my mom.

"Who are we talking about," asked Alice.

"The girl I met when I was in Michigan with Ivan."

"Ah, okay. The one you like?"

"Well, define like," I said.

"In its broadest sense."

"Yes. I think she's very nice and we have a lot of common interests."

My mom said, "So, could she be your long-awaited love interest?"

"That's not what she was asking," I said.

"Well, I am. It would be great if you found someone."

"I doubt it, but we'll see. We barely know each other."

My mom nodded.

Days later, I was surrounded by my family, with my birthday cake in front of me. My name was written in icing across the top, and nineteen candles were on it. I was aware that everyone was waiting on me to blow them out, but I let my eyes rise to the Angeles Crest out the window.

I did not know it, but there was a forest fire up there, which launched a massive amount of dust into the skies. This had vividly colored the sunset, and I strained to remember if and when I had seen a similar spectacle.