Arrogance and Assumptions

I really dont like him

My head is still throbbing, when I get home from my last encounter with Akhil. Do I  really know Wahid? How can Akhil be so angry and still not say anything? How did I get thrust into this familial squabble? Why do I feel so angry at something that is really none of my business? Why do I wish I had at least listened to Akhil, before I blew up?

 

I force my eyes shut, as I lay flat on my stomach. I turn my head to lay on my left cheek and huff a little. I hear my phone buzz once, then twice, and squint my eyes even tighter waiting for it to roll to voice mail. Why am I so shaken?

I keep telling myself that it just isn't this big of a deal. Yet I keep replaying our argument over and over. My phone starts to buzz again, I turn on my side and grab it to see who it is: Wahid. I surprise myself and groan. I haven't heard from him in almost two weeks. Besides random emails and a few texts here and there, he hasnt called me.

I clear my throat, “Hello?” I can hear bustling street sounds in the background. He says, “Aye bay-bay!” in a way that lets me know he's smiling. “Hi.” it comes out in a light whisper. Why am I letting Akhil get to me? “Whats the matter, heart breaker?”

I think for a second, and decide to lie. “Nothing, I'm just tired.” I let out flatly. “Oh, well if your too tired to talk to me then I understand.” I can hear the playful pessimism in his voice. I instantly brighten up. “well you are pretty boring.” I jab.

“Ouch!” he yells “their you go again breaking my heart.” I turn on my back and look up at the ceiling. “I just cant help it.” He laughs, and then asks “so you miss me?” I roll my eyes “uncontrollably.”

“I knew it. You act tough but your a big softy.” I pause “Am I?” instantly I think of Akhil. Our fight. How he asked about me really knowing Wahid. “Yeah you are, and I like it!” I can tell he's still smiling again. “Mmm” is all I can manage. “You sure nothings wrong?” he eagerly pursues. “yeah.” I lie again.

At around eight thirty I feel a tap on my shoulder and I slowly open my eyes. After talking to Wahid, I fell asleep. My eyes sting as they open and I see my sisters shadowed face hovering over me. “Hey, you hungry?” she whispers. I let out a not-uh noise. “Are you feeling sick?” she pokes at my arm.

My sister is always trying to fix a bad mood. “No. Just got a headache.” she sits on my bed, pushing me over a little. “Yeah?” she accusingly asks. “Yeah.” I say with a little irritation. “Ok,” she lays down, fully shoving me over. “you know, mom said you looked like crap when you came home.”

“Thanks?” I fluff my pillow and turn my back to her. “You can tell me. Is it about your boyfriend?” she slides under the covers. I let out a deep sigh, and give in “he's not really my boyfriend. But yeah.” She waits as she always does, never wanting too seem nosy by asking too many questions.

So I continue, “I got in an argument with Akhil today, over Wahid.” she still says nothing. “I dont know why, but I let him get to me. He had the nerve to try and turn things on Wahid, and he even said.” I stop inhaling and lightly exhale “he likes me.” She turns on her side and props her head up with her elbow. “Does that matter?” the question is so simple yet I dont have an answer.

We sit like that for what feels like five minutes. Paayal staring at me through the dark, and me looking up at the ceiling. She smells like vanilla, I tell her this and then say. “ no, he's a jerk.” she falls back to her pillow and lets out “I know.” I take it as an response to both statements.

She squeezes my hand and then turns on her side. “He'd be a nice challenge though.” she finishes. “What?” I ask turning opposite to her and pulling at the covers. “Like Terance said, you need a challenge. Akhil wont bend to you so easily.” I take this in and then say “But I dont want him to bend to me.” she says “Okay” in disbelief.  “Really.” I defend myself, “Okay.” she says in the same tone.  

 

Really. I don't like him. I don't. I keep telling myself this as we both fall asleep, yet that doesn't prevent me from dreaming of Akhil. His soft wavy hair, twisting in almost curls. His captivating eyes that pull you towards him, his strong presence that pushes you back a little. His manly broad shoulders, and firm jaw. The way his mouth twitches when he's angry, and holding back his words. Really, I don't like him. I don't.

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