Meet Me at Dawn

Chapter Seven

Like fragile ice anger passes with time.

                      Ovid

Standing outside Sutherland’s study after the departure of his beloved succinctly reminded me of that final night I spent in the splendor of the ton. How unfettered I had been before that moment, believing my parents’ faith in me infallible. The unwarranted feeling of apprehension took hold, and the anticipation of entertaining an audience with the earl elicited a feeling of dread, the very same that I felt before entering Lady Mayfield’s study with my parents.

I cautiously stepped through the doors and stood just within his immaculate study, mouth gaping in awe at its furnishings. From the dark cherry finish of his desk to the deep blue color of the brocade curtains, everything about the room was elemental and somber, affirming this room belonged to a bachelor.

“Kit, I must thank you. If it was not for you, I should look worse than I do at present.” His grin looked painful as he turned from the view out his window to me. I simply nodded, unsure of the response he sought, and slightly uncomfortable with the surfacing memories that haunted me for years.

“You are welcome to stay here as long as you choose and a position if you should want it.”

All previous thoughts of what I knew about him, of what I expected, dissipated from my mind. He was being charitable, offering me, an ignoble stable boy, a livelihood I would be foolish to decline. I wanted to continue despising him with all of my being, yet I could not deny the fact that he was perhaps not as abominable as I once thought.

Quickly dashing that absurd idea aside, I carefully considered his offer. Living here, with him on this estate, could prove useful my long-term vow to exact my revenge.

At my silence, he raised his brow, looking at me curiously, trying to gauge my reaction to his offer. “What do you think, Kit? Shall you stay?”

“Aye milord, I believe I will.”

“Good,” he replied, “Now, if you will excuse me, I will see you at dinner.” With a prompt and curt bow, he turned away from me and began shuffling papers on his desk. I took this as my cue to leave him and walked back into the hall, shutting the door to the study behind me.

I gazed up the staircase, dazed. What had I just agreed to? How would I possibly endure living in this house with the earl?

***

The week following our arrival on Lord Sutherland’s grand estate passed smoothly and uneventfully. I was sanctioned my own room in the main house and I was quite at my leisure, doing nothing but pace listlessly throughout the halls. Despite my initial wonder at the magnificence of it all, and how blissfully soft the bed sheets were, I was acutely aware of how monotonous the life of a peer could be. Of course, this only served to provide me more time to bemoan that dreadful girl’s existence in Sutherland’s life.

I could not contrive as to how she managed to insert herself into such a role of consequence, one that every debutante was want to have. Neither the amount by which I thought about it, nor how long, led me to the conclusion that he was actually in love with the girl. It was unfathomable.

I did not suspect her to be so conniving those years ago. I, and all others of close acquaintance, thought her a pea-brained simpleton, for she lacked a genteel sense of propriety and forever blundered through the standards of social conduct. I forever heard Mama complain of her squawking voice, telling me that it not only grated on her poor nerves, but on the sensibilities of the ton.

The only relief from my own mind came in the form of early morning rides with the earl. The morning air was refreshing, and the greenery was spectacular. With hardly any trees about, it was easy to race along hedges and disappear in the hidden valleys. It was an excellent escape from the confines of the house, and allowed me the freedom and carefree abandon I had long forgotten since I severed ties with my family.