House of cards

Can't Go Back

I woke in the ass crack of the morning with  a sting in my back that radiated into my rib cage. I gasped needing oxygen and rolled off the bed to the floor hitting my head on one of the many pillows that littered the floor. I got my self up and cracked my bones in an effort to wake myself up.

Over to the bathroom, I splashed my face with cold water another effort to wake up. I felt like I hadn't showered in days my body drenched with the scent of old used sheets and hospital (the smell of death and heart break).

I quickly locked the door and stripped down, wrapping my casted arm in a bag so that it wouldn't get wet. Turning on the water to as hot as I could get it, I hopped into the shower. I didn't have any soap so I used the soap that was already there. I scrubbed the stench and dirt from my body, scrubbing away every sign that ever showed I was in an accident or that I'd had stayed in a hospital, well minus the scars and the cast on my arm. I scrubbed until my skin turned and ached.

I let the water run over my body for a few more minutes before hopping out. I found a towel under the sink and walked the short distance to my bedroom.

I slipped into a new pair of clothes, and unwrapped the bag from my arm. Looking at the alarm clock that sat on the bed side table I realized it was only 6:00 as the red letters flashed back at me. I sat down on the bed not sure what else to do. Someone knocked on the door and I jumped in the air like a spring. "Who is it."

"It's me." my grandmothers voice said from behind the door. I sighed not really wanting to speak with her at the moment. "Can I come in?" I sighed again.

"Yeah." I said walking over and opening the door for her. She walked in and sat down on the bed, she patted the spot next to her motioning for me to come over and sit, so I did reluctantly.

"Valeria I just want you to know I was wrong. I thought that you were like your dad and I know that I blamed you for your mothers death. But you looked so much like your mom, and as everyone has told you many times before, your mothers death hurt me it hurt me a lot, I couldn't understand why she would want to marry someone like your dad "the trouble maker" but I was wrong about that to I didn't realize your dad was able to settle down and give your mother a life and a child, a beautiful baby girl for that matter someone to continue your mothers legacy."

I gasp softly unable to comprehend what I was hearing. 

"I had hoped that you would have forgotten about that horrid day years ago but when I saw you at the hospital, the reaction that you gave me made it so clear that you hadn't. Like I said before your mothers death hurt me I took my anger and sadness out on you because I guess I blamed you, but that was wrong. I know it was wrong and I know that you may never be able to forgive me but please try. Though I will never forget your mom or the pain it caused me but I know I can be happy because she left me behind you and now I have the chance to have you. I just want us to be a family I want you to go to school be a normal girl and live your life to the fullest not for me not for your mom but for you." my grandma turned to hug me and tears streamed down my face and hers.

After all the years I hated my grandmother because of her ruining the first day I'd ever met her, and she had felt terrible for what she had done but she never got to say she was sorry.

I let her hug me and I hugged her back I sobbed into her shoulder and she sobbed into mine.

"I swear if you let me make it up to you, we can start all over again and I will be the best grandmother a girl could have." I nodded.

"Grandma I just want to say I am sorry for giving you such a cold shoulder for so long and I do forgive you as long as we can put this behind us and live on because we can't go back in the past but we can push forward into the future."