A Court of Wind and Shadows

Chapter 5

A few days later...

Outside the windows the darkness of night creeped along the halls of our bedroom. I twisted in the sheets, my stomach a roiling mess. Nausea sat in my stomach occasionally trying to rise up in my throat. But I pushed it right back down while trying to grasp on the few hours of sleep that I could get.

Bile raised up in my throat once more and I gagged as I swallowed it. I didn't understand. Why was my stomach acting like it was having a war against itself? The nightmares that had plagued me only weeks ago have disappeared completely.

I lurched out of bed, my feet slipping on the floor as I struggled against the vomit making its way up my throat.

I fell to my knees in front of the toilet heaving up the contents of my dinner. My stomach rose up again and I let out whatever was left in me once more. I waited till my breaths were steady and my heaving stopped. I leaned my face against the cold porcelain of the toilet and let it cool the heat in my cheeks.

Why did I start vomiting tonight. Nothing had changed. It couldn't be-

Oh. Oh.

Stupid. I was so incredibly stupid, how could I be so idiotic and foolish.

It had been months, and I had overall forgotten to take the contraceptive tonic. I did the first time a few weeks after Rhys and I mated. But after the war, in all the chaos I had completely forgotten to take it. And as we have done it so much, there's a chance, a good chance that the lack of the tonic has done its way.

I laid a hand on my stomach, not sure how to feel.

Do I really want a child? Do I really want a son, if the Bone Carver's prediction was right.

Yes, I answered for myself. I will accept this baby and will raise it. I will love it through every stage of its life and I will cherish it and help it throughout its life. I will give it all my love along with my mate, and I will give it a family who will care for it and protect it.

Every part of my soul was put into that silent promise, that silent vow full of love.

I rubbed the area of my belly. I didn't know for sure if I was pregnant or not. And I would check soon, so I tried my very best to not get my hopes up.

But I wished with all my heart that I was indeed pregnant, I wished with all of my heart that I held my future son inside of my belly.

And maybe I imagined it, but I swear that I felt a touch of warmth connect with the hand that lay on top of the place where our child might be.

***

I don't know how long I just sat there, a hand resting on my belly and my mind set on the thousands of possible futures in front of us.

I heard light catious footsteps echo down the hall and I immediately tensed up.

"Feyre?" A light voice called. I relaxed and loosed a breath. Mor, it was just Mor. But why was she here, ecspecially in the middle of the night.

I realized that I was still sitting on the bathroom floor and rushed to stand as she walked into the bedroom and saw me walking out of the bathroom and towards the bed.

Mor's brow creased as she saw where I was before she came and her mouth became set in a grim line. "Feyre," she said. "Why were you in the bathroom, and why do you look like you've been puking you guts up for the past five minutes?"

I looked at her and saw her disheveled mess of hair and her rumpled night gown. "The better question is," I replied. "Is why you are here in the middle of the night interrogating me."

She crossed her arms. "I'm here because I heard you puking while getting some water, so excuse me if I was worried that something was wrong."

I arched my brow at her words and tried to figure out what she thought could be wrong. "Well I'm fine, nothing is wrong. So you can go back to your room and let me sleep, if you will."

All bits of casualness vanished from Mor as she looked me up and down. "Are you having nightmares again?" she asked with a quiet coldness.

Oh. Realization again hit me like a wave and I cursed myself for not recognizing how it may have looked in her eyes. To her, it probably seemed like I was vomiting because of my nightmares and that I have again chosen not to tell anyone about it. But I couldn't tell her about my suspicions, not without knowing for sure if I was indeed pregnant.

"No" I answered. "I'm not having my nightmares anymore, they went away about a couple of weeks ago. I'm just having a bit- a bit of stomach... issues."

"Are you lying to me Feyre, because it seems like you are hiding something from me. Do you not trust me enough, us enough to say if something is wrong?"

"No," I gasped out, as my stomach starting to recoil and rumble with nausea again.

"Then why are you not telling me what's wrong?" she said fiercely, her tone slightly harsh but overall collected.

"I-I'm vomiti-" I choked out, but I lurched towards the toilet again and heaved. Mor ran to my side and held my hair, but the uneasiness was already gone.

Standing back up again, I braced myself against the counter. I then silently walked back towards the bed and sat down, waiting until Mor followed my movement.

I took in a deep breath and turned towards her, ready to spit out some lie that would help the situation. But as I took in the concern on her face, my wall broke and the truth started to come out instead of whatever lie I was going to say.

"Mor," I took her hand gently, tears glistening in my eyes. "I think I'm pregnant with my son."

She glanced at my face again, an incredulous look on her face, the towards my belly. A smile slowly spread onto her face and she immediately pulled me into one of her typical bone-crushing hugs.

I was crying in earnest now, and as I pulled back I saw tiny, joyous tears trail down her face. "That is amazing Feyre! Why didn't you tell me." She said, playfully smacking my arm.

My grin widened and I let out a light laugh, smacking her arm in return. "Because I just found out tonight."

Mor pulled me into a hug again, holding me tight. I leaned back again, resting on top of the upraised pillows.

She was still smiling, but it shrunk a bit as she asked "Does Rhys know?" My own grin disappeared as I heard her question. "No, he doesn't" I replied. "I wanted to wait and find out if I am actually pregnant. And I think it's something I should tell him face to face."

A nod of her head showed her agreement, and I slumped back into the covers. Mor moved over and then slid into the covers herself.

She looked at me, as if wondering if I had any opposition to her sleeping by me. I just shrugged and smiled at her. I didn't mind at all, and it would be nice, just both of us knowing about this. And maybe our sisterly bond my grow a bit. She returned my smile and her eyes gleamed, as if she was thinking the same thing.

I reached over and grasped her hand while closing my eyes. The wait till the next day seemed so far away, so I let myself fall into a deep sleep as Mor's finger clasped around my own.

Hi guys, I hope this chapter was long enough for now. What will happen next during this change of Feyre's life? And again, thank you so much for reading my fanfic. Please vote and leave a comment too.