HE says she says....

Depression

Psalm 40:1-3

I waited patiently for the LORD; he turned to me and heard my cry.  He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand.  He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God. Many will see and fear and put their trust in the LORD.

I don't know how many of you have been through this, know someone who have been through this, or just know a bit about it. For those who believe that anti-depressants are the only way, you need to read the passage above again. This is a deeply personal issue because I struggle with depression. I am living proof that you don't need to take a pill to get help for this.

My first episode was in 9th grade, my freshman year of high school. I was blessed to have a mother who was there for me, but even though she struggles with it, she had no clue what was wrong with me. The symptoms depend on the person and situation.

I am in no way saying you shouldn't take anti-depressants. I am just saying, don't let that be your first and only option. For my age, even now, I would have caused several problems mentally, and people even warn that suicidal thoughts may get worse. My mom decided to try and get me to talk. It took nearly 9 weeks, but I finally told her the things that were going on in my head. She realized what was wrong immediatly. When I finally knew I wasn't just crazy, that there was a name for what was wrong, I felt relief, but that didn't make it go away.

I stopped going to church when everything started to go crazy, and now I wish I had stayed. My youth group had been going over the very thing I needed help with! When I finally came back, I got the spiritual guidence I needed, and I spent a great deal of time talking to God. Over time, the feelings I had began to lessen. Now almost 3 years later, those feelings have come back. I have good days, and bad days, and very bad days, but I still talk to God. I learned the hard way how shutting Him out only causes me more pain.

 I won't tell you what is good or bad in this situation, that depends on you. I will say, He got me out of my pit, when will you allow Him to get you out of yours?

The purpose for writing this was to help any of you who have or do struggle with this terrible disease. I promise my purpose was not to persuade you to get off you meds, in many cases you should listen to your doctor. But why would you turn your back on the greatest Healer of all time? From my personal experience, my type is situational. It is just my minds reaction. I am in no way an expert, come on guys I'll be 18 this month. But I do understand how hard it can be to stay on the path God has set for you. For me, it is like I am moving through a puddle of water some days. I will keep talking to Him. I will get out of this dark pit again. I am prepared if this happens again and again. No matter what your pit is, are you ready to say the same?

God Bless

-Ash