Never Have I Ever

Chapter 23

"How long has it been since you slept?" Nash brushed under my eye with a finger. We were sitting outside for lunch at school, leaned against a tree. People had stared when he'd walked alongside me, and I had blushed under their curious gazes but Nash, of course, kept an indifferent expression on his face, uncaring and confident as ever. I felt horribly plain in comparison to him, my jeans and t-shirt somehow paling in comparison to his tight white t-shirt and fitted dark jeans. He seemed to wear everything much better than anyone else. 

Shrugging I said, "I don't know." I'd been working as much as I could to get out of the house. When I'd gotten home the night before, both my mother and father were gone. But I knew they'd be back eventually because the heat had been turned on, the fridge full again. I hated tiptoeing around my own house, scared that they'd pop up on me. I was more scared they'd pop up on Chris, and try to take him away from me. I clutched at my heart that was now pounding a little faster from my fright of losing Chris. I clenched my jaw slightly. I wouldn't let that happen.

"How about you? When was the last time you slept?" I asked, noticing the darkness that was under his eyes, also. His lips twitched and formed into a careless smirk that I immediately didn't like. I frowned.  

"How are things at home?" he asked me, avoiding my question. I narrowed my eyes in suspicion.

"Fine," I said easily, still focused on getting him to answer the question. His eyes looked half lidded, as they did all the time. But he'd said he hadn't had a nightmare the night we slept in the field, so what happened?   

"Liar," he muttered. "Have you talked to your parents?" I shook my head, wanting to avoid this conversation all together. I didn't want to talk about it. I just wanted to ignore the problem until it went away. That would be easiest. But I knew that Nash didn't do easy. His narrowed eyes and determined gaze proved that.

"Why not?" he demanded. "You need to talk to them, Aria."

"No I don't," I sighed, not feeling like getting into a fight about it. He opened his mouth to speak but I leaned in and kissed him for a second before pulling away. He stared at me, his eyes widened in surprise. My face went red and I tried to turn away but he made a sound that resembled a growl in the back of his throat and pulled me closer. His lips met mine and I sighed as they parted against my own. His fingers caressed my hair, his lips firm but soft against my own. I completely forgot we were still at school, gripping his shoulders and moving myself closer to him. When he backed away from me, my eyes were wide and slightly unfocused. 

"You're going to talk to them," he said firmly. I gave a small shake of my head making him groan. He let his head drop forward so his forehead leaned against my shoulder. "Stop being so stubborn, Aria," he murmured.

"I don't have any reason to speak to them!" My anger finally pushed it's way through, making my voice have a slight edge to it that it didn't have before. "She left me," I said in a low voice.  He sat up straighter, the absense of his warmth making an involuntary shiver run through me.

"They're your parents," he said, "That's reason enough."

"Do you talk to your parents?" I snapped without thinking. When his face lost all expression, I knew I shouldn't have said it. We could never get it right, could we? There was always going to be a fight, words that shouldn't have been said. He kept his face blank.

"That's different." There was something in the way he spoke to me now. Cooler and more indifferent than it had been only moments ago. He was closing off from me. I wanted to cling to him and make sure he never let his walls build up again. I didn't mind if he had walls, I just wanted to be the one that made them come down. It seemed like all I did was push them up further.