Handle With Clare

Chapter 28: You Can't Rush Perfection, Clare

Happy 4TH for all of those that are in the USA! I hope everyone to have a safe and fun day! Also look for the <>!

Darla H

If life was perfect like a story, it would be like this; Anna and I would have met at a track meet instead of the hospital, and we would become instant best friends. Never would we have to taste sorrow like we did with cancer and together, we would spend the summer by the poolside. I would finally get a tan and she would have this fabulous long brown hair that would get curled because of the choline. Maybe I would even join the cheer team and I probably would date someone from my high school. For my senior year, I would start to apply for colleges and think about my future.

Sadly, life wasn't perfect, all of those dreams would never come true and I would never have time to accomplish any goals of mine. However, there were moments, small glimpses where everything was perfect in my imperfect life. It only took me now to realize it, but I was so blessed to have some pretty perfect moments.

I met Peter in a perfect summer. We had just that, a perfect summer that lasted into fall. Even though it was just a mere four months together, we had an amazing love story. He was with me through thick and thin. He was a breath of fresh air I needed so badly. He made me feel alive again, and he made me want to be alive.

And then there was Anna. Oh Anna, the girl I was so determined to not make friends in that support group. She was just so bright and cheery, and because of that, I couldn't help but want her to be my friend. She reminded me of what a friend was and how to be a friend myself. She really was a perfect friend, a friend that I never thought I would have or even deserve to have.

Lastly, there was my family. Mom that was overly emotional, but always willing to take me out for ice cream. Then dad, always worried but never tried to show it as he tried to protect his family. And Farrah, she was the one that I was going to miss the most from this life. I could always rely on her to make me laugh until I cried. I could count on her to talk my ear off well into the night. She kept my secrets even though sometimes it killed her, but she was always there right by my side. My family drove me crazy sometimes, but they were perfect for me.

Yes, life wasn't perfect and I wouldn't call myself a lucky person, but there was perfection in imperfection and I was lucky, luckier than I realized.

I had been home for a grand total of a week and I kept feeling worse by the day. By now I stopped doing homework, seeing that there was no point. Instead, I read books, played on my phone, talked to Farrah, did almost anything to distract myself from the inevitable. Today was no excuse as I laid on the couch, reading a book, but it wasn't doing a good job of distracting me. I used to be so good at blocking the pain and pushing it to the back of my mind, but recently, I haven't been good at that. I think it was because the pain got more intense but I made sure that my family didn't know this fact.

"Clare! I need help with my project! Can you be my model?" Farrah asked as she ran into the family room, where I was laying down.

I looked up at her as I gave a small laugh. "Really?" Farrah loved to paint and take photos, but she never asked me to be a model. I wasn't sure why she never painted me, I never really thought much of it. It did not offend me when she didn't ask me. I just figured there were just more beautiful things to paint.

"Yes, really. Now get that butt off that couch and follow me," she said, and she grabbed my hand to help me up.

I followed her to the backyard until the mowed grass stopped and the wild wheat grew almost to my hips. Some farmer owned this land and normally he planted something, but I guess this year he was resting his field. The sun shined brightly on the wheat, causing it to shine a golden color, and when the breeze hit the wheat; it moved in unison, causing it to make a natural melody. I never cared to notice the field in front of me, but as it stood grand and vast in front of me, I realized it was beautiful.