Chapter 5: freedom for the night

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Look out for the <> to listen to the song! 

"Clare, we're heading out for dinner, then going to a church meeting. We won't be back until late. Dinner's in the fridge," dad said to me as I laid on the couch reading book that I found lying around on the coffee table a few days after the Smiths came over.

I looked up at him as mom walked right beside him, wearing heels and a red dress that looked classy. They both looked nice, and I was glad that they were going out. It had been months since they went out on a date.

A rush of guilty emotions hit me like darts, knowing that I was the one that prevented them from going on dates. Another reminder that Cancer killed everything around us. "Ok. See you tonight. Have fun," I said to both and smiled.

"You too. Try not to throw any crazy parties while we're away," dad said with a wink.

I rolled my eyes at him dramatically. Like that would ever happen in my life. Who would I even invite? Farrah and my oh so many friends... Yeah, sure. As sad as that fact was, I didn't dwell on it as I forced a small laugh. "I'll try my hardest." I waved them off as they walked out the door.

I heard the garage door open, then close, and with that; I knew they left. It was about time too, now we had the night to ourselves. What would we do you ask? I didn't know, but I loved the idea of having all this freedom.

With all this extra freedom, I went back to reading my book, flipping through few pages as I realized this book wasn't as good as I originally thought. At that moment, Farrah walked into the room with a spring in her step. She looked at me with this enormous smile, hinting that she had an idea up her sleeve, like she often had when my parents left. She was sneaky like that.

"What are you doing?" Farrah asked me. She sat on my legs, that were resting on the couch.

I looked at her, then at my crushed legs as I raised my eyebrows. I didn't understand why she didn't just move them before sitting. "Reading this book about... You know what... I don't know what it is about," I said to her.

She mouthed 'oh' to me and then a second later she said, "what go somewhere?"

"Like where?" I asked, a little skeptical of her invitation. I didn't have a driver's license, so we couldn't go far.

"French fries," she said and smiled at me.

I didn't have to think about it for long. Even if it was just a few miles down the road, the idea of getting fries sounded like a wonderful adventure. With my parents not around to tell me no, I had full freedom to join Farrah and Farrah knew that too, little rebel, took after me. "Sure. I'm in," I said and closed the book.

She got up from my legs with a small cheer, and I followed her lead to get ready. As she slipped on a pair of shoes, she stopped and turned to me with a frown. "Do you have the strength to bike there?" she asked with concern, as if she hadn't thought about this before she suggested the idea.

That question frustrated me more than Farrah would know. I should have enough strength. It was only a three-mile bike ride down a flat road. I used to run that with no problem. Biking it would be no trouble at all. "Yeah, I can do it."

She nodded with a smile, happy with my response, then walked into the garage to get our bikes.

As we started down the road with the warm breeze hitting our face, I felt like for a second I was actually enjoying summer. All too quickly, I started my normal sisterly role as I listened to Farrah tell her stories about high school drama. Before long she was singing songs she heard on the radio, reminding me she was more aware of pop culture than I ever would be and I couldn't help but feel a little jealous of that.

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