Handle With Clare

Chapter 17: I can guarantee you

Song is for the start of the chapter!

I stood on the back deck of my house as Peter looked at me nervously. He looked like he was afraid that he would hurt me with just a small gesture. Quickly I laughed it off, as if it didn't bother me, he was making a bigger deal about this than he should. "What are you? A Scaredy cat?" I teased him.

A week had passed since the dance and this was the first time that he had been back over to my house since we didn't want to push our luck with my parents. We both decided that it was safe to slowly get them warm to the idea that Peter was back around.

"Yeah, I am. What if I mess this up and it looks awful?" he asked, as he looked at the razor in his hand.

I chucked at him. "I'm losing it anyhow. Why not have some fun before it's gone?" I said as I referred to my hair, that was half in a bun and half down. I wanted to shave the part that was down since I saw the same style in a pop culture magazine. I never had the guts to do it but seeing that my hair was going to fall out anyhow, I saw it as now was my chance. "All I want you to do is shave all the hair that is down. It's not that hard."

He frowned, not confident with his ability to cut my hair with a razor.

I sighed and went up on my tiptoes to place a kiss on his lips. "Please. Peter. Just do it," I said to him. I wrapped my hand around his that held the razor. I flipped the switch that turned it on because I knew that if I didn't turn it on, it would never happen.

I turned my back to him and said, "you can't mess this up." Within a second, I felt the razor against my skin as my blondish white hair fell to the ground around me. I smiled. I felt excited about this change. For one small, rare moment, I was in control and I loved it.

Minutes ticked by until Peter finally spoke up, turning off the razor. "I think I did ok."

I reached up and rubbed my half buzzed head and smiled. "That feels nice. I see why guys do it." I turned to kiss him. "Thank you."

"Take a look at the mirror before you say anything else," he said hesitantly.

I nodded, although I knew that he couldn't mess this up. Quickly, I went inside the house and walked into the bathroom to see my new hairdo. I turned my head to see the shaved side in all of its glory.

"So did I mess it up?" he asked as he peaked into the bathroom.

I shook my head; he did the opposite; it was exactly what I wanted. "This is perfect. Thank you," I said to him happily.

He smiled at me. He then pulled out his phone and frowned. "You have that support group meeting soon."

I frowned at him as the realities of my life hit me like a slap to the face. "Do I have to go?" With him here, I didn't want to leave that.

As much as I would be happy to see Anna, that meant that I had to sit with a bunch of other cancer patients as I half-listen to their problems. It was all so boring and depressing, and I could think of much better ways to spend my afternoon.

"Yes, it'll make both me and your parents happy," he said to me and pulled his keys out of his pocket. "I'll drive."

I folded my hands over my chest. I would not move from this spot and I already decided about the matter.

He smiled at me, reading my mind. He thought this was a game, but I was dead serious. I was not moving, not today.

"Come on Clare, how bad could it be?"

I sighed loud enough for him to hear it. I didn't want to go, but he for some reason really wanted me to go and so did my parents. I caved. "Ok. Fine. I'll tell mom we're leaving." Without wasting a second, I yelled out, "Mom, Peter is taking me to the support group meeting."