Apocalypse-the last girl on earth.(on hold)

Argument-part 2

Derick's POV.

I am suck a jerk. A horrible, horrible jerk.

I sat in my empty house resting my head in my left hand while I clutched a cigarette in my right. The smoke weaved up through the air and ashes fell on the table, glowing for a bit and then turning dark grey. I've been trying to quit smoking for what, 6 month? I've tried necotine patches, gum, spray, everything that there is but nothing seemed to work-I couldn't go a day without smoking. I dont know wheather to give up trying to quit. I could go to a support group/ a theropist but that way my parents would find out about my addiction and it would break their hearts. So I just continue smoking a pack a day, too terrified to even think about what my lungs might look like at the moment.

No body even pressured me into starting, so I cant blame any of my friends, it was all my fault. I just wanted to see what it would feel like, and I told my self I wouldn't become addicted and one cigarette wouldn't matter. However, after I had it I had to have another one...and another one....and another one...

I smoke whenever I get a chance to, in the school toilets, at home when my parents are at work, when I'm with friends, anywhere. My body is now used to reaching into my pocket, getting out a fag, lighting it and drawing in the smoke, and I can't stop my self. If a friend tells me to put the fag away I become angry at them and most of my friends know not to.

In the past 30 minutes I've been sat here in my bright diding room I must of smoked like 10 or something, I lost count. 

I just couldnt stop thinking about that night 2 days ago, about Rochelle. I was drunk out of my mind and if i wasnt i would never ask her to try a cigar. When I did, I didn't think she would agree to try it so easily, since she isn't really the brave type. Maybe it was just the influence of alcohol. What if she becomes addicted because of me? If she does, I will never ever forgive my self.

The thing is, through out my dozens of girlfriends, I have always loved Rochelle. But despite being mr.popular and eveything, she seemed almost...too good for me? Everything about her was perfect-her shiny brown hair, stunning eyes, beautiful figure, her sence of humour and how she wasnt slutty and annoying like most girls I know.

But there is something I feel even more guilty about from that night. Once Rochelle went home, I suddenly had a massive need to get laid. I had it whenever I was drunk. And there was one girl in my sight. Nella.

I didn't really remember how I ended up in her house, I think it was because she asked me to stay in her spare room since her parents were out for the night and she didnt want to be alone in her house, and of course I agreed.

Flashback..

'Umm, Derick I'm going to bed now, do you mind to go back to the spare room, I need to get changed.' Nella said, standing up from her tidy bed.

I moved closer to her, and whispered in her ear:

'Do you want me to help you?'  my hand snaked around her waist as I said that. 

'Derick, please. You're a nice guy and I like you as a friend but nothing more. You're just really drunk, so please go to sleep.'

I pushed her down onto the bed, smirking.

'Come on babe, it will be fun.'

*end of flashback*

And thats all I remember, but I know that we did...it. It was almost like rape.