The First Flight ❀ COLIFER

Chapter 47 ❀ Goodbye

People say you never know what you have until it's gone. When I realized that was true, it was already too late. 

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, breathing in the subtle vanilla scent that had always lingered in the house. When I opened my eyes again, I slowly turned around in the middle of the living room, taking everything in that I was seeing for the last time today. From the couches to the paintings on the wall, and the incredible green backyard where Ava had spent hours and hours.

Today was the day. Today I was leaving Vancouver, and I wouldn't be back anytime soon. The house would be for sale in just a few days, and I had come to collect the last of my belonging that were left in the bedrooms upstairs.

We came back from Rio about a week ago. I eventually decided to join the rest of the group and spend some time in Vancouver with Ginny and Josh... and with Colin. But I was leaving before everybody else.

Because Colin was flying home earlier too.

I grabbed the bag with the pillows and photo frames that were still at the house and I snatched the key from the tray on the kitchen island. Then I turned around to the front door, walking the distance to the hallway for the last time.

I looked back once more before I stepped outside. Josh's car was already parked across the street; he was giving me a ride for the very last time.

Probably the last time ever.

I got in the passenger's seat, but I grinned when I saw that Lana, Ginny and Bex were all sitting in the backs. "What are you guys doing here?"

"We're going to say goodbye to you at the airport, silly," Lana said. "We can't leave you like that."

I laughed, because we'd already had multiple hugs at Josh and Ginny's house. I shook my head, and then Josh hit the road.

We only spotted Colin's car on the parking lot of the airport. He was freeing Evan from his car seat just as we got to him, little Millie already strapped to his chest.

"I"ll take him, you take the suitcases," a woman's voice said.

Helen appeared seconds later as she walked around Colin to get to Evan, but she looked up when she saw us and smiled.

"Hey, everyone!"

"Hi," we all said, and my cheeks were burning again when my eyes met Colin's.

One corner of his mouth went up. I smiled back at him, but we didn't say anything.

"Okay, I think it's best if we just said goodbye on the parking lot," Lana said. "You know, in case we run into some crazy fans."

"Sure," I said. I left my suitcase and the bag on the asphalt and went to hug Lana. Ginny and Bex followed after her, but I took my time with Josh.

"Be careful, okay?" he whispered in my ear.

I raised my eyebrows because of the sudden seriousness in his voice. "Of course I'll be careful, why would I—"

"I don't want anything to happen to my daughter," he cut me off. "It'll always feel like you're my little girl."

"Okay, dad," I said, laughing. "I'm going to miss you. You're the best TV dad I've ever had."

"Oh, you bet I am." He was smirking when he finally let go of me. "Come to visit us in Cali when you have time, okay?"

"Of course. But only if you guys come to New York. Or LA. My family would love that." I leaned forward again, until my lips were right next to his ear. "I think my little niece has a crush on you."

"Oh, does she?" He smiled, that typical Josh-smile where his eyes narrowed until you could barely see them.

And then it was time to go.

I grabbed the suitcase and the bag, and I walked backwards the first few yards to wave goodbye to everyone. Colin and Helen were right behind me with Millie and Evan, who was crazily excited to go back home.

I didn't expect it to be this hard, but I almost teared up as the distance between me and the rest became bigger. I didn't know when I was going to see them all again.

I finally turned around as we entered the airport. I'd put on some sunglasses, but I still got recognized— and Colin too. Obviously.

We spent some time signing pictures and taking selfies with a few girls. Meanwhile, my brain was in a totally different place and the most random question suddenly popped up. 

Why do people say goodbye?

I realized that was probably a dumb question, but if you really thought about it, it wasn't. It was the hours we spent together on set that counted, the laughs we shared, the stories we told and the difficult moments we went through together. But it was the saying goodbye part that was the hardest.

So why did we do it?

I was in the middle of taking a selfie with a blonde girl when I heard Colin's distinct accent just a few people away from me, and my heart just dropped.

"I'm sorry, but we really have to go now."

I checked the time, realizing he was right. Their flight was leaving twenty minutes before mine, so they should be going.

I looked over my shoulder. I saw that he was looking for me too, but there was a group of people between us, and he was already following Helen to their gate when his gaze found mine.

In the moment I realized I wasn't going to be able to say goodbye, it hit me.

People say goodbye because no matter how many hours you spend with someone, it's the last moment that you hold onto. 

We didn't have one. We looked at each other for just a split second, and then I already lost sight of him. I rushed to sign the last few autographs that were left, but I knew it was in vain.

I only saw his back in the far distance when I was finally done. Helen was right next to him and Evan was sitting on his shoulders, and they looked like a perfect little family.

It was time for me to go. I turned around to head to my gate, but I still had some time left to buy coffee. I took my cup and I sat down in one of the many chairs near the gigantic windows, but I couldn't focus on anything.

I set the cup of coffee aside and looked down at my phone. They'd probably already checked in their suitcases...

I couldn't control myself. I dialed his number anyway.

It took him a few moments before he picked up, but eventually he did. I could hear he was grinning when he said, "What's the news, Morrison?"

I smiled at my lap, but my chest felt tight. "We didn't say goodbye. So I'm saying goodbye, I guess. I don't know."

"Oh." He was silent for a few seconds. "I'm sorry, I could've waited until you were done signing those pictures. Our flight got delayed."

"Oh," I echoed, and I sunk a little deeper in my seat. Then it dawned on me that it wasn't just the fact that we didn't say goodbye that was bothering me.

There was one thing I'd never told him. Sitting at the airport brought back a lot of memories of our first flight, and if I didn't tell him now, he would never know about it.

He would never know about any of that dream.

I squeezed my phone in my hands, trying to find the courage and the right words. I took one last, deep breath.

"Colin... do you remember our first flight? The day we met on the plane?"

Silence. Confusion, probably, but then I heard the lightest sigh.

"Of course I do."

I scratched the top of my head, because I was still trying to decide if I was going to say it. I glanced around me for a second, and then my gaze traveled to the planes outside the window.

"I— I need to tell you something."