Survivor's Guilt (A Jay McGuiness fanfiction)

Chapter Twenty-One

"Avery!" Jay yelled, though the ringing in his ears made it hard to hear himself "Avery!"

 He wasn't sure where he was supposed to look, where he was supposed to move. His mind was racing, throwing around thoughts quicker than he could keep up with, and his heart was pumping his bloody crashing around his body so fast that Jay was sure he might explode. 

 Out of the corner of his eye, Jay spotted some of the rubble moving, and he darted across the fallen train carriage, dropping heavily to his knees and digging through frantically. After a few long, painfully dragging seconds, slender, dirtied fingers appeared through the mess. 

"It's ok," he muttered hurriedly, more to himself, as he revealed more and more of the woman he had only just met "it's ok. I'm here. I'm not going anywhere. I'm here..." 

"Jay. Jay, wake up."

It took Jay a few long seconds to recognise the soft, comforting voice that eased him back to consciousness, and his eyes seemed reluctant to adjust to the dark. He brushed his hair out of his face with a trembling hand, and turned his gaze to Ebony, who was looking at him concernedly. 

"Bad dream?" She asked gently, and when Jay nodded almost imperceptibly, Ebony sat up and flicked on the bedside lamp. "Do you want to tell me about it?"

She cooed as Jay forced himself into a seated position too. 

"Not really," Jay replied, his voice a little croaky from the remnants of his sleep. He felt bad when Ebony bit her lip worriedly, still searching his face intently for any sign that she should push the subject, so he shot her a small, weary grin "It's ok, honest."

"Well," Ebony sighed quietly, lying back down with her head on Jay's chest, feeling the way he started running his fingers lightly up and down her bare arm and shoulder "I'm here, and I'm not going anywhere."

Jay had to remind himself that Ebony didn't know that those were the exact words he'd told Avery all those months ago. Sometimes, it felt like a whole lifetime had passed since that day, but he still remembered it like no time had passed. It never ceased to amaze him how it always seemed like Ebony could get in his head, and it had been anyone else, he wouldn't have liked it. But he'd known for a while that Ebony was different to any other person he'd ever met, and he loved her for it more than he could describe. 

“I love you, you know.” Jay whispered into her hair, sealing it with a kiss, and Ebony leaned up to press her lips along the stubble on his jaw.

“I love you too,” She grinned sleepily, pleased with the simple bliss that lying in bed with a boy that she loved, that loved her back, bought her.

“And listen,” Jay started, huffing out a slightly nervous breath “I know this isn’t fair on you, but do you think we could keep this between us for a little while?”

“If that’s what you want Jay.” Ebony replied simply.

“It’s not what I want,” Jay assured her “But I think that with everything else going on right now, it might be for the best.”

“Alright,” She agreed without hesitating “Me and you; we’re a team McGuiness. We’re going to be just fine, I promise.”

“I think so too,” Jay smiled, pulling her a little closer to his chest, carding his hand gently through her hair.

“It’s probably a good job we’re always the first ones up then, right?” Ebony joked, letting out a light, tinkling laugh

“Definitely,” Jay replied, shooting her a grin “but for now, we should go back to sleep, or we might not be the first ones up tomorrow.”

It only took a few minutes for the two of them to fall back into slumber, curled up against each other, and for the first time in a while, they both felt more at ease, like the rest of the world couldn’t get to them when they were in each other’s tight little cocoon, and somehow, everything seemed a little less scary.