DEATH NOTE ONESHOTS

Just Hold On {Lawlight SPOILER ALERT}

I changed some things, I know it's probably not like the actual episodes but i dont give a fuck, I watched episode 25 this morning and I'm still crying, dont judge me

The dim red emergency lights shine in the room, I know what's going to happen, but no matter how many times I've lived this moment, I still can't stop myself from holding L as his eyes close, I can't help hating myself, because this is my fault. L died because of me. And I can't do anything to stop or delay his death. And maybe, just maybe, I love him too much to let him go.

"Light?" My eyes open suddenly and I see L, looking at me concerned "Light, are you alright?" He asks worriedly

I nod "uh... yeah, I'm alright" I say, but he doesn't believe me... of course he doesn't, he's L, what did I expect? "I am, really"

"You didn't seem to be alright a few seconds ago, you still seem pretty shaken up" he is still concerned, I know he is.

"I am, it was just a dream" I reassure him but he isn't really the one who needs reassuring right now, I keep telling myself that it was just a dream, but something tells me that it's really going to happen. I would normally not want him to die because he's my friend, but now... I'm not sure what he means to me. Was everything I felt in that dream real? If so, why did it feel like it was my fault? Does that mean I really am Kira? But how can someone forget something like this?

"Want to talk about it?" L asks, I look at him, I can't tell him, how can I tell him that his death will be my fault and not makee him think I'm Kira? I want to tell him so badly, I wamt him to know what's coming, but I can't, I don't want him to hate me, I need him to love me.

"It's not important, it was about Kira, that' all" he nods an I look at the chain linking us together, my heart skips a beat and that's when I know... I really do love him. Fuck.

Most of the day goes by pretty uneventfully, but I can't help noticing something strange in L, he isn't his usual self, and I can't figure out why.

"What's wrong?" I ask him, trying not to sound too concerned, I probably didn't succeed, but I don't really care.

He looks at me and at the team -who don't seem to have heard me- "nothing... everything's fine" he sounds relieved but slightly annoyed... doess that make sense? It does sin my head. it's like one of those moments when you want to pass a test and you also want your best friend to pass as well and they pass and you don't... not that I've ever been in that situation but you know what I mean.

"Ryuzaki" my father calls walking to us "another criminal has died in LA" he informs.

"I know" L simply says, I look at him in confusion "the serial killer Beyond Birthday has died less than half an hour ago" Beyond Birthday? Why is that name so familiar?

"Who's this Beyond Birthday?" I ask "it seems like everyone here knows him but me, what have I missed?" I am so confused right now it's probably amusing.

"Back in 2002 three murders were reported in LA, all commited by the same killer, Beyond Birthday, he didn't have an apparent reason nor pattern but the victims' names, he left a clue in every crime scene for everyone to know who the next victim would be" L explains... how does he know so much about this case? Did he investigate it? "But of course no one paid attention to that until the third and last victim, Backyard Bottomslash, was already killed"

"You caught him, right?" There's no need to ask, I know it was him who found out this Beyond Birthday was the killer. He nods and I smile... why is he such a cutie? It hurts and I can't handle it, I just want to kiss him, but I know I can't do that, especially not here with everyone around, I guess I'll have to wait until we're alone... but what if he hates me afterwards? I wouldn't be able to handle it, or what if he thinks I'm Kira and I'm trying to find a way to kill him? Wow... it hurts to think that.