Leaving All I've Ever Known (Camren)

11. Stressed, Camila?

My fingers tap lightly against my crossed legs as I watch patients and medical staff glide down the sterile hallways of the hospital.

At the corner of the room, I spot the TV. With the remote in hand, the receptionist channel hops, but the same story is being run on every one.

An unusual blizzard is hitting parts of California tonight. It's progression has been tracked for a few days, now they're telling people to pack some emergency supplies and to expect congestion in the already busy streets of L.A.

I'm tempted to scroll through my phone and kill a bit of time as I wait for my name to be called out, but ever since Dinah posted the picture of all 5 of us, my apps do not stop refreshing to 99+ notifications.

And Megan's usual good morning text start with the same story I thought we finished last night. She even sent me a draft of what my coming out post could be and a picture to go along with it.
When I told her again that I wasn't ready, she got upset and basically told me to do whatever the hell I wanted and that she wouldn't care. She often gets very hot and cold like that when she doesn't get her way.

But reverting back to our fans, I will admit, it is exciting to have the harmonizers once more. And to see the spark come back is something I never thought I'd get to experience again. It's worth the light slap on the wrists we got from the Grammy event organisers too, as we weren't supposed to be seen together.

Oops.

"Camila Cabello?"

I must be grinning rather obviously when the doctor called my name. He greets me with a polite smile and leads me to his office where I sit.

"Someone's in a good mood today. If you couldn't guess, usually patients aren't very happy to see me unfortunately."

I laugh at his words, leaning in to my happy exterior.

"I wonder why, I've heard youre the best!"

"Ahh don't flatter me." The man in his late 50's waves me off. "So you're here for a routine check up on your vocal cords. Anything I need to know?"

"I don't think so. I'm singing normally. My throat doesn't hurt."

I think of the recent dizzy spells I've had. Though dizzy may be downplaying it a little since my brain seems to think up completely real feeling scenarios in its head. The most recent being Lauren kissing me for the New Years Eve countdown in front of Megan... I'm sure it's nothing.

"Your medical notes says you have a history of panic attacks-"

"-That's sorted." I know. I did have one just yesterday but they are becoming less and less common. "They're very spaced out now."

He gives me a low hum as he motions for me to open my mouth. I ablige as he inspects whatever he has to inspect. He finishes off with a curt nod.

"Stand up for me Miss Cabello."

I do so and he presses his stethoscope into my chest. This is so routine for me now that on impulse I take 4 deep breaths in and out.

"Good. Everything pretty much seems to be working as it should."

We both take a seat, I usually try not to get too comfortable as these appointments are usually a couple minutes long. He sits down, facing his laptop and examining his charts.