How Many More Times

Robert Who?

Jimmy's POV

It was the day before we had to leave Norway and things were already getting out of hand. Bonzo was drunk (as always) screaming a Jonesy because he hid all the alcohol from him. "It's for your own good, Bonzo! Some day that damn drink is going to get you in some serious trouble!" I smirked, some day? I just rolled my eyes. This always happened between them, and it would always piss me off, but I wasn't going to show it because I didn't want to cause even more trouble.

Peter was off somewhere, probably yelling at someone too, the poor souls. Kat was sitting by me, picking at her nails and Robert was off in the corner reading Lord of the Rings. It was one of my favorite books, so I got up and went over to him. He was too into the book, so he didn't even noticed me slip next to him, scanning the page in front of me. I already read the book, so it wasn't really interested. I looked up and saw Kat, playing with a bracelet around her wrist. I haven't noticed that before, it must have been Robert who gave it to her. Why does she have to be with Robert? Especially after she kissed me, what a tease. No, I wasn't going to let that ruin my day, not today. I mean, maybe if I got lucky, I could get some time with her alone. Wait no, you make your own luck in this crazy world, and I was just about to make mine.

I got up, still without Robert noticing, and sunk down in the seat next to her on the couch. She smiled when she noticed I was there, "Hi."

"Hey." A long and awkward pause there. I gripped my hands together and I tried to stop my leg from bouncing so much. It was strange, I never felt so nervous around her before. But today was very different. We both knew that kiss happened, we were just too nervous to bring it up. But, kiss or no kiss, I still loved her. 

I glanced over at my guitar, which was leaning up against the wall next to Robert. Should I? I don't know. I looked down at my hands, trying to distract myself, but it was no use. It was as if it were calling me. I was helpless, so I went over and gripped my hand around the next. This time, Robert did notice me. Peering over the top of the book, giving me that should I be worried look. I gave him a reassuring nod, letting him know I wasn't going to ruin anything. He kept staring at me, expressionless, before returning to his reading. He flipped the yellow stained pages anxiously. He obviously didn't believe me, but he kept his mouth shut anyway. 

I walked up to Kat and nodded my head towards the door. She looked down at the guitar clenched in my hand and her face beamed. "Another lesson?"

"Yes, darling." I held out my other hand and she took it willingly. I felt Robert's eyes on us as we walked out. I bet if looks could kill, I would probably be dead right now. 

I taught her some new notes and reviewed some chords. Her F sharp needed some work, and her chord changes were shaky, but other than that she was pretty good. We played until our fingers bled, and we just laughed and laughed at all of these stupid things. It felt like for once I could actually connect with her, instead of just shagging her and then moving on the next day. I haven't held onto a girl for this long. The longest I went was about a year, but Marilyn spent half of that year in Europe. But today was all about Kat, just about her and me. 

I was trying to teach her a new song, and simple one. Hey Jude was perfect for her level. I had to teach her one new note though. I helped place her fingers on the correct strings, but I don't think she was paying attention. She had a far off look on her face, like she was writing poems in her head. "Kat?" She jumped, startled a little. I placed my hand on her arm, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you." She shook her head, "I'm sorry what?" I sighed and leaned back in my chair. "You can't stop thinking about that kiss can't you?" She looked down at her fingers and nodded guiltily. "Have you?" I couldn't lie to her, so I confessed. "I can't stop thinking about it."

"This is so stupid, we both know it happened. Why are we trying to push it away?"

"I don't know. Instinct? Or maybe because you love someone else." 

"Maybe," she mumbled. I looked down at the strings running across the front of the guitar. "Do you remember what I said to you right about when you were about to leave?"

"Every word." I plucked the thin string on the neck of the guitar, trying to keep myself from turning bright red. Kat shifted in her seat, "Did you really mean what you said?" I nodded and sighed, waiting for her to turn me down. 

"Jim?"

"Yes?"

"I'm not sure if I love you too." I looked up, totally expecting that answer from her. Yes, it was a little disappointing, but we all saw it coming.

"Well, there is only one way to find out for sure." I set my guitar down next to me, not stopping myself from smiling. She wrapped her arms around my neck and I leaned in, letting my lips meet with hers. I placed my hand on her lower back, reclaiming the kiss that lingered in my mind for so long. Now it was no longer a memory, but a reality.

I was so caught up in the kiss that I didn't even hear the knock at the door, or the little click of the knob as it turned. I heard a loud gasp and I quickly pulled away. There, standing in the doorway, was Robert. The sun shone through the drawn curtains, making his golden hair shimmer and his blue eyes gleam. But that didn't hide the disappointment clearly shown in his eyes. I looked over at Kat, who was frozen and so close to bursting out into tears. Robert stayed quiet, trying to connect the dots and realizing what he had just walked in on. He simply nodded, pursing his lips. His eyes shone with tears as he reached behind him for the door. And just like that, he was gone.