My bed was warm, my eyelids heavy and I was tired, so deeply tired. It was a feeling that was so familiar to me, but one I hadn’t felt since I’d come here, until now. All the years struggling not to sleep, not to dream, the exhaustion of it even made my bones ache.
I listened to the silence in the room, unable to even hear the sounds of either Kyle or Christopher breathing. But I knew neither of them slept, that their keen eyes both watched me, seeing my struggle.
“I don’t understand why Elizabeth is doing this?” My voice sounded loud in the darkness. I’m not sure if I expected either of them to respond but the quiet stretched out behind my words and lasted for too long. It was finally broken by a small shift, the sound of material brushing against material.
“It’s not our place to say.” I was surprised that it was Christopher who spoke such careful words and not Kyle.
“She of all people knows what is at stake, has sacrificed so much to prevent exactly what she’s now trying to convince me to give into. She spent almost a decade avoiding being with the one she loves at any time I might see it, which was a lot.”
“Maybe, then, she is in the exact position to see both sides of the coin.” It was Kyle this time and I could hear that he chose his words delicately.
“It doesn’t make any sense, Kyle. You were there, you saw the way not only Elizabeth but those women act like it’s a foregone conclusion that Mathias and I will… Well, you know and they seem hopeful, not afraid. Shouldn’t they be doing all they can to discourage us, instead of trying to convince us to accept our fate? Don’t they know the pull is so strong that their encouragement is like tipping us toward each other on an incline with only our fingernails to hold the ledge. There is no way to fight that. We won’t last.”
“Maybe you’re not meant to. Castan’s intention are good but Fate is a wise old bird, Casey. She knows what she’s doing. She’ll not let Castan sidestep her.”
The sound of a hand coming in contact with a body told me my window was closing. If I was to get any more info from Christopher I’d have to be quick.
“So everyone has just accepted it? Fate wills it, so you all just blindly allow your world to be torn apart? You won’t even fight?”
“We’ve been fighting, Casey, for seventeen years. Our world, our lives have already been torn apart.”
I thought about what Kyle said in the long silence that followed his words. I hadn’t stopped to think about it that way. I’d lost more than one home, my childhood, my memories, my parents. I’d even lost hope, until recently.
There were others who gave up so much too, David, Elizabeth, Dan, Hazel, Ellie. My parents gave their lives. Others, people I don’t even know and never will, have given theirs also. Then there was Mathias. I tried not to think of all the things he’d lost when I left. But how many others lost something that day? Bobby, Zeke, Derek, Helene? Were there others?
Elizabeth said I won everyone over, even the hardest of them. In one day I’d gained friends, some, like Derek, already filled a space in me I hadn’t even known was empty without him. He felt strangely like family, and working alongside him felt like being home. A feeling that was hard to consider giving up again, after everything I’d already lost.
It was different when I didn’t know what I was missing, but having it all shown to me. How could I let any of it go again. Maybe that was what Elizabeth was trying to show me. None of them had the luxury of forgetting. They all bore the wounds of loss for eleven years.
“You should get some sleep, kid. I imagine Elizabeth has your dance card full up tomorrow.” Christopher’s voice was soft, melancholy almost. I was glad I couldn’t see the look that accompanied it. I’m not sure I could bear it with the thoughts swimming in my head.
I closed my eyes and tried to do as he said but Mathias’ eyes stared at me from behind my eyelids, burning with the knowledge of our mutual, silent acceptance of Fate’s will.
“Goodnight,” I whispered into the darkness, just before a restless sleep overtook me.
YOU ARE READING
A Tail of Stars
FantasyThere is nothing average or ordinary about Casey Miller's life. She has no illusions about that. She's been having visions since she was six. At seventeen these waking dreams have become so intense and overpowering they have put her in danger, lu...
