My Letters to God

I Hate this Guy

Dear God,

         I woke up early today and I cooked some eggs, bacon and pancakes. Dad's home, I saw his car keys on the table and he ate the casserole. I think he wasn't drunk since he also washed the dishes, did you really knocked him out  last night?

          I didn't dream of mom last night, maybe she's busy, yeah? I wonder what she's doing right now. I made an egg sandwich and I also packed some brownies for my snack later. 

          Just before I finish chewing my last chunk of pancake, I saw dad coming down the stairs with his usual office attire. He looks so refreshed and calm not like the days before. He smiled at me and he said "Good Morning". I just smiled and started munching on my pancake again. 

         I don't know how to act around him anymore... it's been so long since he acted so normal. I really really really want to hug him and say "Welcome back" but things aren't the same. Even his smile is different... it has the same wideness but there's something different... there's something missing.

         "Your breakfast is in the oven." I said timidly, my tone didin't change.I wanted to ask if he's going to drive me to school but I held back and instead I stood up and placed the dish in the sink without even looking at him. "Imma go now." I added and walked to the door without waiting for his response.

         "Wait. I'll drive you to school. Wait for me in the car and I'll be there in a jiffy." Then he pointed at the keys. I just nodded and took the keys and went straight to the car. I felt relieved in a way... I think dad can read minds.

         He dropped me at school and gave me a kiss on the forehead for the first time after three months. He used to do that before that's why I was kind of shocked since it has been a long time. It made me smile and I hugged him in return. Yes! I've finally hugged my dad again! I wanted to cry but I restrained myself 'cause I don't want dad to get emotional too.

         "You take care, sweetie." He whispered and I just nodded and smiled. I waved at him before walking away and he smiled at me and drove away. "Take care" I forgot to tell him.

         When I entered  the classroom I saw Alison, she gave me a big smile and she hurriedly run towards me and gave me a bear hug. I want to shove her away but all of them are staring at us and I don't want to create a scene.

        "It's so nice to see you again!! Oh! missed you so much! You've been gone for a week!" She squealed. I just smiled and said that I'm glad that I'm back. Good thing none of them mentioned anything about mom, maybe they're just afraid that I might just break down and cry. The class went well, all of the teachers welcomed me back and so did my classmates. I think they're really happy to see me but why am I not happy to see them? Why is that, Lord? Is there something wrong with me? 

        Class went well but I didn't pay too much attention. My mind was blank all day and it seems like I'm just there... for the sake of being in the classroom... I'm just there but nothing makes any sense. Jesse talked to me during lunch and he comforted me.  He huggged me too just like what Alison did. Alison was not with us since she has cheering practice every Mondays and Wednesdays. I think I hate him, Lord.

        Why is that "hating" considered a sin? If it's bad then why did you put it in our emotion box? Grandma used to say that all of us have this box with emotions in it and she said that it's a gift from you. 

        Today is really great... I think this is -------

       Sorry, someone's at the door. I'll continue writing tomorrow. 

P.S. I gave Jesse some brownies and he said that it's really sweet and tasty. I hope all of his teeth would just fall off tonight. Just Kidding. Gotta run, the person outside is trying to break our doorbell so I better check it out. 

::Author's Note::

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