My Letters to God

Got to Love Milk

Dear God,

          I wasn't able to able to attend school today because I had to take care of dad. I think you knocked him over too much but it's ok since he was able to went home last night safely although he had a fever around 4 this morning. Good thing i heard him moaning so I hurriedly went to his and mom's room. I was scared, Lord. I thought you will also take him away from me. I was too scared to leave his side even for a second 'cause he might go with you just like what mommy did. Maybe you didn't really want to take him away 'cause when I took a basin full of ice and a handkerchief from the kitchen he was still there. I was so relieved and guilty at the same time because I judged you again. I'm sorry, please don't be mad.

             Please do send a lot of thank you warm hugs to Mr. Cole for bringing my dad home last night. I saw a lot of vomit on his shirt and I know its dad's *chuckle*. Mr. Cole has been a good neighbor to us even before mom died. He has been a great friend to my dad and he and his son Tyler is kind of also looking after me these past few days.

            I was kind of surprised when Mr. and Mrs. Cole went to visit this afternoon, they brought lasagna and home made pies. They're yummy and dad liked them too. They talked in the garden, I wanted to eavesdrop but I don't want you and mom to get mad at me so I just stayed inside and ate more pies while stealing some glances at the garden. Sorry for that, Lord. I just can't help it but I swear I never heard anything. i just saw Mr. Cole patting my dad's back and Mrs. Cole looking like she's gonna cry. I wonder what they were talking about.

            Alison texted me this evening and asked me why I didn't go to school today. I wanted to reply but I didn't anyway. I wanted to talk to her since she's the only friend that I know but I'm too scared to open everything to her 'casue she might hate me or think that i'm a freak or weird. Good thing I can send letters to you God... I think you are my only friend. I just wish you could send letters to me too. 

        I feel so alone and lonely, Lord. Both of my hands are cold and I miss mom and dad so much. Dad's in the next room but it feels like he's so far away. He didn't eat dinner today but he did drank the milk I prepared for him and he kinda smileld sweetly after he kissed me good night. I think he's sleeping soundly now. Maybe he's lonelier than me... maybe he's suffering more than me... and I can't do anything about it. Lord, can you please hug him tight while he's sleeping. I don't want his heart to get cold.... please love him more... please take all your love for me and give it to him instead  so that he can go back to the way he was before.... so that he can be my dad again.

          I'll go to sleep now. I have school tomorrow. Good NIght, Lord. Send all my love to dad. Sweet dreams.

P.S. I think milk has special powers. My grandma's cat, Mr. Bubbles, love to drink milk especially when he's grumpy and then he'll fall asleep and then when he wakes up he'll be lively and fun again. Maybe I should drink a gallon of milk a day...and two gallons for dad *chuckles*.