Escaping Pink

Hotel

It turns out that Ava didn't like that I was so young. She mumbled to herself when she was awake, and talked in her sleep. Most of the time she said Father's name. Once even, she said my name.

She was angry and hurt, but she wouldn't talk to me about it. I'd been taking care of her for days now, so it kind of hurt when she refused to speak to me. The way I saw it, I hadn't had a mother in a long time so... Ugh, I don't know what I'm thinking.

Father had stayed away. The buzzer never went off, and the door never opened. So we ate snacks that were stocked on my shelves. When I turned fourteen last year, Father stopped caring so much about how and what I ate. But heaven forbid my weight reach one hundred fifty pounds.

"The baby is growing Daddy," I say, crawling into his lap.

"I see," he murmurs and wraps a hand around my waist, and places the other on my growing stomach.

"I think it'll be a boy. See, in one of my romance books, the main character's mom says that if your stomach is high it's a boy. And in the book, it also said that I'll be able to feel the baby move. Isn't that cool?"

He says nothing in return. I wait, because I know he hates when I repeat myself as much as he hates having to repeat himself, but after a while I begin to fidget. "Daddy?"

I wanted him to tell me again how happy he was to have a baby with me. I wanted him to tell me how much of a woman I've become. I wanted him to banter with me and give me a ton of reasons why the baby is a girl, like he's done before.

"Baby Doll, don't you think you're too young to have a baby?"

"What?" I started to draw away from him, but immediately stopped. He may have been nice this past month, but I knew what he was capable of. Saying what to him is enough to set him off. I don't want to give him a reason to hurt me or the baby.

"Your body is too little, and it will have to go through a lot of changes for the next five months. I don't want anything to happen to you, so many women die from childbirth, baby..." he caressed the skin covering my hip bone rhythmically.

"If I have my period, I can get pregnant and I can have a baby, right?" He can't be serious right now. "You said you wanted a baby. You said you wanted him."

"Sweetie, you're barely eleven. Most girls go through this when they're much older-"

I jerked out of his arms and got off the bed. All I could do was stare at him. How could he say these things?

"You could lose the baby," he continued. "I could lose you."

"I'll be fine. I'm doing just fine," I said stubbornly, placing both hands on my bump.

"It's going to hurt, a lot."

"It hurt when you took my ass too. It hurt a lot and I'm okay now."

"Watch your mouth," he says firmly, sitting up completely. Even without standing, I can tell how much bigger and stronger he is than me. I quiet down and stare hard at the ground, my hands balled into fists.

"You listen to me. I brought some new pills for you that will take the baby out of you now. I know this is hard, but when we have another baby when you're older you'll understand. I can't risk losing you Baby Doll."

I lost it. "If you didn't want to risk losing me you wouldn't kill my baby. You wouldn't beat me every time you get mad-"

I had blinked. At times, I foolishly believe that if I didn't blink he wouldn't have flew at me the way he did. I would have saw him. I could have moved. But what then?

I blinked, and suddenly felt the back of his hand connecting hard with my mouth while the other wrapped around my throat...

"Candace."

I flinched and looked up to see Ava staring at me.

"What's that, in your hand."

I slowly cast my eyes downward to see one hand clenched and pressed against my flat stomach, with white fabric peeking out here and there. Slowly opening them, I found that I'd picked up one of the socks I'd made for my baby Jax. I quickly tossed it back into the bin on the bottom shelf.

"What was that?" Ava asked again. I wish she'd stop asking questions.

~~~~~

Picture of Candace's room above. Well, as accurate as I could get.