Life of An Outcast

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This is the story of me and why I am who I am today. My name is Louise and i am eighteen years old. I live with my dad in a small apartment near my high school, he works away so i don't get to see him much, even when he's not working he's barley ever home so I’m alone a lot of the time but it’s okay, I'm used to being alone and have learned to like it.

 My mother left me and my dad three months after i was born so I've never met her and i don't want to meet her. I am average height for a girl my age, i have light brown hair that is quite short (it just sits on my shoulders) and it is always straight. My dad would describe me as having a cute button nose, full lips and big beautiful golden brown-hazel eyes; he always tells me how i am the little version of my mother which i hate with a passion.

 A bit more you should know about me is, I'm not the best at anything at school and i don't have like a favourite subject that i love and am awesome at like most people. The only thing i have a passion for is singing and my art but my school doesn't offer those subjects so i do it in my spare time which i seem to have quite a lot of due to me not fitting in with anyone in or out of school. I feel like it is a way of expressing myself and how i really feel, other people think it's strange that i always either draw all over my arms or constantly sing to myself but i find it relaxing and comforting.

 I am repeating year twelve now but i have had depression since year six or seven it used to be manic depression but now it’s just plain out depressing, i used to cut but i don't anymore not sure why, i just don't. I think i don't do it anymore due to the fact that i used to do it to relieve myself from stress from what’s happened at the time, i don't anymore because i want to punish myself. I don't want to die, but sometimes i think that even if i did it wouldn't matter because nobody would notice that i was gone.

I am a strange girl and i constantly have thoughts about me stabbing my classmates just casually, it is very annoying and a very nice and possessive feeling it feels like something is going to take over me and one day i will actually do it as if something inside my brain telling me not to will snap and i will just go around and kill anyone i can find. Other than all I have told you though i am completely normal. This pretty much sums me up in the nice psycho maniac package that is me.

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