The Hunger Games: Staying True. (Completed)

Chapter Two; How Weak We Must Seem. [Edited]

It's strange, how one moment can change everything you've ever known. It's cliche really. That in one moment, you believe something to be an unavoidable fact. No one can alter it. That fact is set in concrete. Then suddenly, everything shifts, and in the next minute every unavoidable fact is nothing but an empty void.

A moment ago, I'd believed Laken to be brave. I mean, look at him. Big, muscled, powerful. Always quick to prove he's the strongest in the room, the best of the best. Our eldest brother, the one we all look up to.

But now, Laken is slumped in his chair, weeping softly. He does not stand to volunteer.

A moment ago, I'd believed Cade to be fearless. Always getting into trouble, always sneaking this way and that, whispering for me to join him on an adventure. He'd always been loud about his disappointment of not being able to participate in the Games. They'd be fun, he said.

Now, Cade's head is tilted parallel to the floor. His eyes do not waver from his shoes. His hands are shaking in his lap. He does not stand to volunteer either.

A moment ago, Jaren had worn a smirk on his face. The nastiest of all of us, he'd been boasting for years that he would win a Hunger Games, that the prospect of killing twenty-three other children would be child's play to him, he'd enjoy it, he'd often told everyone.

Now, his eyes are squeezed tightly closed. Knees jumping up and down in anxiety. He's muttering something under his breath, and when I listen for a moment, I realise he's begging 'Not me'.

Alden is the only one that seems to still have brain activity left. His eyes swivel slowly around, assessing, calculating, using that big brain of his to decide which of us children would be the most likely to survive a Hunger Games. Laken is the clear choice, but brute strength isn't everything. Alden would do well, he could outsmart everyone.

Still, he makes no move to stand, even though I'm sure he comes to the same conclusion as I do.

I stare at them, my big brothers. The boys who think me weak, think me a coward, and yet I'm the only one without tears in my eyes. The only one who hasn't collapsed into a ball of self-pity. None of them are willing to stand, and so they assume that our mother must be the one to choose. She could choose any of us.

Does she hate me enough to send me to my death? Or does she still seek the respect of her neighbours and friends? In which case she'll send the most likely to win.

I stare at my family.

It isn't love that makes the decision for me. It's shame. Not just at my brothers. Not just at my mother. All of us, sat quivering in our seats while the Districts children had to do this every single year. I won't have the whole of Panem watch as I sit in my chair and weep, as my mother picks one of my brothers because she thinks me too weak and fragile.

The muscles in my legs scream in protest, every single cell in my body cries out for me to sit down, to think it through, to realise that any other member of my family will do better than I can. But that isn't true. Out of all of us, I am the only one to have ever killed someone. The only one to have ever seen real battle.

I'll do just fine.

Only about ten seconds have passed since our name was called, but I am finally on my feet. It takes a lifetime to straighten my spine and square my shoulders. I will not show anyone the fear in my heart.

I have to pass my entire family to get out into the aisle in order to walk to the stage.

Jaren does not react. Cade looks up at me in shock, his mouth falling open. Alden's head jerks up, and he snatches at my hand, gripping tight, before I yank it away with violence. Laken stares at me and there is nothing but gratitude in his gaze. My mother stares straight ahead, and doesn't bother to acknowledge me as I pass her.