The whole week Toby walked on eggshells around me, and I could sense it. I didn’t like that he was being careful with what he said and did; I wanted him to be the normal Toby that I knew for almost 6 years. I could understand why he was doing it, though. He didn’t want me to hurt myself, and for that whole week I hadn’t. Nothing had triggered me. I wasn’t really worried about going outside anymore either because I hadn’t seen my dad since that night. Toby kept trying to talk me into talking to Sean and Riley about everything, and every time he brought it up I declined. Part of me wanted to tell them, but the other part was so scared and felt so shameful. I didn’t know how they would react, and that was what I feared the most.
I made my way downstairs for breakfast and entered the kitchen. Riley and Sean were seated at the kitchen table eating some eggs and toast. I grabbed a plate and grabbed myself some of the food, then sat down next to them. They were chatting about seeing a movie later tonight because it was their date night. I thought it was cute how they didn’t care about other people’s perceptions of their sexuality. I loved the fact that they were so in love, it always brought a smile to my face.
I knew I could just blurt out everything, just start from the beginning and make my way to now. It seemed so easy, but there was fear holding me back. I knew they both loved me, but what if after I told them they kicked me out and disowned me? What if they thought I was lying? I bit my lip and looked down at my food, all of a sudden not hungry anymore. They noticed, too. “Hey bud, why aren’t you eating?” I heard Sean ask.
I shrugged and looked up at them. Concern was in both of their eyes. That’s when I knew nothing would happen when I told them. They loved me unconditionally.
“I have to tell you guys something.” I said, then took a deep breath.
“Sure, anything.” They said in unison.
“You guys promise me that you won’t be mad at me?” I asked.
There was slight confusion on their faces. “Of course we promise!” I heard Riley say.
I bit my lip and stood up. “Stay here, I’ll be right back.” I said, then headed up to my room.
I felt the best way to start was so show them what I had been doing to myself. I changed into white shorts and a blue tank top. After exiting my room, I stood at the stairs for a few moments, shaking. I was so scared and nervous, but I was able to make my way down the steps and into the kitchen.
They both shot up out of their seats and ran towards me. “Oh my gosh, Lee! What is this? What have you been doing to yourself?” Sean cried as he studied the numerous cuts and scars on my body. They both had tears in their eyes and Riley was running his fingers through my hair, asking me the same question Sean had.
“I’ve been hurting myself for 6 years.” I said quietly, my gaze on the ground.
They gasped and quickly brought me to the couch in the living room and sat me down in-between them. “Why? Is it something we did? Please tell us, Lee.” Sean said, grabbing one of my hands.
I sighed and started the story. “When I lived with mom and dad, everything was great. They were the best parents anyone could ask for, but remember when mom lost her case with the tobacco company?” I asked and looked at Sean, he nodded.
“When that happened, mom got very distant. He didn’t really pay attention to dad and me that much. That’s when um…” I paused and felt tears stroll down my cheeks. “That’s when dad started hitting me. Every day he did something to me. I was so young I didn’t know it was wrong. But then he started doing other things to me…” I said and covered my face with my hands, sobbing.
I felt their arms being placed around my body. “Shh, you don’t have to say anymore, we get it.” Riley said.
“Not really.” I said softly, placing my hands on my lap. “He raped me over and over. He also made me do things to him to make him happy. Mom was into heroin by now, and dad joined in later. That’s why I’m here with you guys. I stopped caring about everything. I stopped eating, I stopped loving. They got tired of me and sent me here.” I explained.
I gazed down at the cuts on my body at that moment. “That’s why I hurt myself. I can’t get the thoughts out of my head. I have panic attacks, dreams, flashbacks. They kill me every time they happen. I didn’t want to tell you guys because I was so scared what you would think. I was scared you’d hate me and want nothing to do with me. That’s why I kept it a secret for so long.” I told them, and looked at both of them.
“We could never hate you, we love you so much, Lee. We don’t blame you for anything, and we’re here for you no matter what.” Sean cooed, his arms still around me.
“There’s something else.” I said and closed my eyes. “I saw dad the other night, when I came home really late. I was with Toby, and we were really drunk and high. We went to the park and Toby had to use the bathroom, so I was by myself and when I saw dad I started running, but Toby got to me first and he got me back safely.” I explained.
There were shocked expressions on their faces when I opened my eyes back up. I couldn’t believe I had told them practically everything. “We need to do something about this, Lee. We have to contact the police.” Riley said, and Sean nodded in agreement.
“But I’m scared.” I said in a hushed voice.
Sean grabbed my hand once again. “We know baby, but we have to. And we’ll make things right, okay? We’ll make things better. I promise.”
YOU ARE READING
Beyond Repair (short story)
Teen Fiction**Very old story that I decided to put on here. Writing is from when I was much younger** This is a story of a sixteen year old girl named Lee. After moving in with her brother and his boyfriend at the age of ten, Lee has to secretly deal with a pai...
