"My Best Friend, is a gay?!"

Train Station

The sun had already set as we got home. It’s now evening. Because the birds’ chirping was already gone. I now heard the sounds of the crickets, the high-pitched sounds of the bats, and the loud sound of the frogs. I get a little bit tired, and Jessie as well. We play around, running around, and teasing around. I feel like I’m normal, too; that has the vision to see things around. “ I guess you have to go home and rest, Jessie. Or else your mom will get worried about you. “ mother declared with an earnest voice. “ I guess so, auntie. Well, I think I have to go now, Selene. Good night and sweet dreams. “ Jessie told me with a sweet voice, caressing my hair slowly. “Good night, too. And sweet dreams. Ahh... Don’t forget, tomorrow. Me and mom will visit fathers grave in Woodlawn Cemetery. You’ll go with us, okay? “ I answered smilingly to her, reminding her carefully about tomorrow. “ Don’t worry. I’ll go with you. I’ll bring a bunch of tulips for uncle. “ she volunteered. “ That was kind of yours, Jessie. “ mom meant to say thank you to my best friend. “ You’re welcome, auntie. So, goodbye. See you tomorrow. “ Jessie  now bids her goodbye to me. She then kissed me on my right cheek as a goodnight kiss, I’m used to it. Later on, I feel that she’s now leaving. Taking her pace through the passage way. My heart wants her not to leave, but she must. Don’t worry, Selene... You’ll be with her again tomorrow. I waved my left hand to her. I pray that, ‘God in the sky, please guide her to her way home safely. Amen. ‘ “ Come on, dear. It’s time for bed. “  

The next day, I wake up early by the sounds of the birds that are singing. The fresh air morning that I feel and the smell of the food that mother cooked for breakfast. Before I went outside of my room, I slowly and carefully walked through my table, I then get my paper and pen that my teacher prepared for me on top of the table in case I need it.   I wrote a letter, a short letter for my father. I will give it to him, of course. Today. It’s good that I know how to write. In a sudden moment, I heard that my door opened. But I continue to write. 

“ Selene my dear, it’s time for you to have a bathe. “ mom reminded me. “ Yes, mother. “ I speak up, folding the paper into two as I was done writing it.   Mom let me bathe for myself. Because she knows that I’ve already memorized the processes on how to bathe. On where’s the faucet, on where did she put the soap and shampoo, and on where could I find the toothbrush and the toothpaste. Thirty minutes had passed before I finished washing myself. It’s not so hard.Mother then dressed me up. I ask her on what does my dress looks like. Mom answered, “ My lovely daughter wears a plain pink dress that has a ribbon at the back. “ I imagined. “ What a lovely dress, mom. “ I appreciated, smiling half of my lips. “ That’s right. Your father will be very surprise with you, because you’re now grown up. “ she calmly said, brushing my long hair thoroughly. “ How I wish father was here. “ I sighed. “ That’s what I’m wishing, too, my daughter. “ Abruptly, I heard a voice that was calling me and to my mom. I have a feeling, that it’s Jessie's voice. My face turns happy. I quickly let mom to stop brushing my hair first. “ Mother, I think Jessie is here. I should now go to the living room. “ I was excited as I hurriedly said that. “ Okay, okay. “ Mother then hold my hands and guided me to the way to the living room. She opened the door for me. I am right! It’s Jessie. “ Wow. How beautiful you’re wearing right now, Selene. And the one who wears, too. “ Jessie mumbled like she was amazed. “ Thanks, Jessie. And you, too. You’re dress is so beautiful, so you are. ” I pleaded to her. “ Owss... Why? Did you saw it? “ she’s searching for a proof. “ No... "   I shook my head " ...I feel it. “ I admitted. “ Oh. I so love you, Selene! “ she then hugged  me tight as she can.

Her hug was so lovely. I could feel that she’s really love me and she’s not sick of caring me. I hugged her back, too. I let her feel what I feel. “ Oh. How I wish I have a best friend like Jessie. “ mom burst out. Jessie then releases her hands around my body. “ Selene, I made my promise. I brought a bunch of tulips for your father; for uncle. “ she said hysterically. “ Really?? That was so sweet, Jessie. On behalf of my father, I would like to say thank you so much! “ I shrugged off gleefully, with my chinky eyes that wasn’t seem so visible. “ Oh. Beautiful tulips, Jessie. Thank you! Well, it’s time for us to leave the house. The train is waiting that will take us to Woodlawn. “ mom reminded the both of us. “ Right! Come on! “ Jessie feels like excited. She quickly wrapped her arms around my arm and carefully dragged me to the outside. She guided me to come up inside the pick-up truck. I was still sitting beside the driver’s seat. “ Still, I’m going to be the driver. “ Jessie volunteered. “ The best driver I’ve ever known. “ I said, I was meant to give her courage. “ Drive carefully, Jessie. ” mom reminded her, fastening her seat belts on  at the back seat. “ Yes, my lovely auntie. I can handle this. “ she answered back without making mom feel worried about her. She then started the engine and drives away from the train station that will take us to the Woodlawn. I wonder how big the Woodlawn is. Mother said that it is where the victims of the Titanic Ship placed their dead bodies, but some of them were cremated.

If ever I’m not blind, I will tour around the world, and explore how beautiful it is, and even this cemetery. And I'm not kidding. But I guess this is forever. How I wish I could only see. Even just once, even just for a day. I would take my time spend to it. But that’s only a wish. Mom said that I still have a chance to see, if only we have money to pay for the operation. It’s worth a thousand and plus. It’s really expensive. We can’t afford it. So I just let myself stay like this, of being blind, and stop dreaming that I can still see. Sometimes, I hate myself of being blind. What if, the time comes that mom will get old and get sick and lying on the bed—who will take good care for mom? I know that, I’m going to be the responsible for it, but, I’m not like any other people who can see, who have their vision. Do you think I’m right? That’s what I’m always thinking, but still, there’s no answer yet. I’m just a person. A person that doesn’t have the idea what the world is. 

“ Selene? Selene? “ Jessie slowly shook me. I was startled suddenly. “ Je—Jessie? What is it? “ I was a bit stammered. “ We’re now here at the train station. “ she told me, exciting tone she made. 

“ Ahh... Okay. “   I was a bit excited, too. Whoo... Too much problems I’ve always think at that time.

Jessie then guided me to step down my feet out of the pick-up truck. She intertwines her arm around to my arm as she directs me to walk in a right way. I feel that there are lots of different people around here. “ Jessie, just go and find some vacant seats first, understand? I’m just going to buy tickets for us. Wait for me, huh. “ mother instructed Jessie on what to do. “ Yes, auntie. “ responded Jessie. “ Please, take good care for Selene. “ mother implored to her. “ No problem, auntie. “

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“ Yes, auntie. “ I responded with my thumbs-up. “ Please, take good care for Selene. “ auntie implored to me. “ No problem, auntie. “

Then off she goes. I'll be the one who will take responsible for Selene for now as auntie went away to buy tickets. I look around to my surroundings first to find a vacant seat for us. There you are! I found a seat for us! O my. So many people all the way through that seat. I guess it’s hard to pass in that situation, especially for Selene because she can’t see. I have to lump that thing. I know there’s plenty of people, but I can make it; we can make it. “ Selene, I found a seat for us. But we have to pass first with a lot of people before we could get there. “ I told her, holding her hand tight. “ I feel it, Jessie. “ she told back. “ Are you ready? “ “ As long as you’re here with me. “ she says, showing her sweetest smile. I chuckled, “ Alright. We can do this. Let’s go. “ She hold me tight as I hold back tight. Feel like she doesn’t want to lose me, well I don’t want to lose her, too. I’m her guardian. It’s hard for us to insert with these people. We could barely walk fast. I am totally gripping on Selene’s hand tightly as I can as she was behind my back.

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“ Ouch. I’m sorry. “ I suddenly bumped a person. What a hard situation I am in right now. I could hardly insert with these people that surrounds us. I feel that I was behind Jessie’s back, gripping my hands tightly. O my. My hands went sweating, it slowly glides down. I should grip tight, or else, it will break. Then there’s suddenly bumped me. Gosh! I’m doomed. Our hands went broken. 

“ Jessie? “ I was calling her. But no one answered. I don’t know where she is now. I don’t know now what to do. Am I going to find her or – get back? “ Jessie, where are you? Mom?” I’m worried about myself. I can’t find them. I tried to step my foot and walk slowly. “ Jessie? Mom? “ I whispered as I was walking carefully. I was like a kid that was lost from her mom and her best friend.   I heard the squeaks of the people around me and the clank of the train. I don’t have any idea on where I am right now. I feel that, I walked so plain, so naturally. Feels like, I was standing and walking alone. I can sense that I am not inserting anymore with those people. Am I out of that ‘hard situation’ thing?

Did I now found the seat for us? Oh. I’m so curious. If only I could see. I spread my hands widely, no any other people beside me. But I still heard the clank of the train and the squeaks from them. I am right! I am now free from that way! But, where’s Jessie?   Few moments, there suddenly bumped me as I was just standing firm. “ What have you done!!?? “ I was surprise. There was a man’s voice appeared and was shouting on me. I quickly put my hands down and wonder in fear.