Chapter Three

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chapter three: *How Am I Going To Be An Optimist About This?*

               She had never understood how one person could ever make you feel so horrible. She never understood how one comment could stick out like a sore thumb in a sea of compliments. She never understood how a hundred people, for example, could tell you you're pretty and then just one, could tell you you're fat and that's what stuck. She never understood it until now.

She realized if that one person, if that one person mattered in any way, whether they were popular or a role model or someone you loved per say, then that one comment really was what stuck.

Liam had said she wasn't his type.

Not anymore.

And it didn't matter that throughout her life at least twenty different boys had shown interest in her, it didn't matter that just last night when her best friend Sam had convinced her to go out for dinner, a handsome looking boy by the name of Nick Fowler had told her she was indeed beautiful (not that Liam had necessarily said she wasn't because that would have broken her completely), she still couldn't get Liam's words out of her mind.

And she tried to hate him for it, but mostly she just hated how much it got to her.

How suddenly inferior she felt.

Somewhere deep inside her, she always felt like Liam had been too perfect for her, too sweet, too romantic, too charming, too charismatic, too popular, too handsome, too-too much for her.

And now, the Liam that was so different than hers, but still looked so much like the one she had known, had finally shown her how he really felt.

She just wasn't his type.

Not anymore.

The last part...it gave her a blinding hope.

It told her that all she had to do was bring her old Liam back- dig him back up. But still her heart ached and her mind kept churning around his words.

At first he had just stared at her when she was too shocked to explain that she wasn’t a nurse. And then slowly the questioned answered itself. He realized that besides not being dressed as a nurse, Leslie was indeed too young to be doing anything in the medical field.

“So you’re another visitor.” He had stated so detached to the words Leslie felt herself snap out of her reverie due to the cold that overcame her.

“I’m-I-well-,” She had stuttered and then paused to see if she could at least form a coherent sentence in her mind, “I’m Leslie. I-I’m your girlfriend.”

He had studied her, then, his blue eyes slightly tinged with curiosity, more emotion than she’d seen him express so far, and then furrowed his eyebrows, “Why didn’t you come earlier?” That was all he said.

And suddenly it all burst out of her like if the Niagara Falls had been clogged up for a year and it finally burst through- all the gallons of liquid pouring out so violently it shook the entire world.

She was almost angry. Not at him, not even at herself, but at fate-at life-at the things she couldn’t control. At the damn motorcycle Liam decided would be a good idea to ride, but most of all at the motherfucking drunk driver.

“Look Liam, this is sudden, I get it since you don’t even fucking remember me anymore, but I’m your girlfriend. We had been dating for a little more than seven months when you disappeared on me.” She looked at him and suddenly all the water dried up right there, he looked like he could care less, but she continued anyways, “We-we,” she whispered the next part, afraid to her very core, “We were in love. I-I’m still in love with you and the last three months were hell for me. You, well, I know this sounds cheesy, but it was Leslie and Liam and Love, like you liked to say, and when your lights went out at your house you looked for me to be there since you were-are?- scared of the dark. And well, I was your home and you were mine.” Her thoughts were scattered, but she felt like what she said was enough. She hoped it was enough to spark something inside him.

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