Am I still Invisible?

Chapter 1: I am Invisible

AUTHOR'S NOTE. PLEASE READ

Hello there.

This is my 1st entery onto wattpad. Please leave honest and brutal critiques because I need them but, I ask with tears in my eyes...don't be mean. I was nervous while writting this and I kept on thinking that maybe I shouldn't upload. Then I realised that I need to follow through with this in order to see what I am capable of.

So here it is.

Capter one is very short and is just meant to be a brief insight into her life and almost like an introductory chapter.

Enjoy (hopefully)

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Chapter 1: I am invisible

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High School. I have so many mixed feelings towards this place. I hate it, love it, dread it and am ready to conquer it all at the same time. There is only one thing holding me back and that is that no one even realizes that I exist…unless they need help with their English assignment.

This is the disadvantage of being a 5 foot tall, 16 year old nerd with what could be considered ‘self-esteem’ and ‘attitude’ problems. Yes I have my moments where I don’t feel pretty and I feel like telling the world to go screw itself but doesn’t every teenage girl? Also, it probably doesn’t help that I don’t wear a stich of make-up and am always in my oversized cargo pants and worn-out Converse.

Yeah, some might even say my life sucks but I do have 1 thing that helps me make it through the day. My earphones. According to my mom I have an unhealthy obsession with them and it’s ‘strange’ that I claim that I can't function properly with out them. Believe me, you’d need a distraction too mom if you had to put up with all the s**t as well as the dim witted people I out up with daily.

My 5 best friends are the only things that make that school worth going to. It probably helps that they all are stunning weirdos and nerds. I, by far, am the worst though.  Nataka is overly talkative, Priscilla is pink obsessed, Selena is always happy but shy, Gemma is a bookworm and Sandra (Sannie for short) is really awkward in large crowds but even she makes friends easily. We have been friends for 4 years now but we have known each other for longer. I love these girls and they are the only reason I can survive some of the living beasts that go to our school.

According to Sannie my biggest issue us that I am anti-social. Apparently I just walk around with my earphones in and my head down, blocking out the world. 

Sandra also thinks that its sad that I can count the people I talk to frequently. Honestly, in 5 years time these people will be just a bunch of nameless faces to me who add no purpose to my life. So who cares what they think. Its not my fault that I don’t want to walk around with a big fake smile plastered onto my face and screaming, “HELLO, Be my friend,” to strangers while giving them hugs. I just don't care enough to do so.

It’s easy for people like Sandra to do that though. She is tall and beautiful in a shy sort of way and she has this infectious personality that instantly makes people like her. Selena is super skinny and pretty as well as fun.  Her happiness makes people want to be around her. Prissie has this awesome light brown hair and hazel eyes and people like her because she knows exactly how to state her mind in a way that still makes the other person feel important. Nataka is the most like me in the sense that we both talk a lot, stand up for ourselves and both dress like bag ladies (as she describes it). Unlike me however Nataka is super comfortable with who she is and knows herself so well. She always has something interesting to add to a conversation.

Then there’s me. What is special about me? Nothing.

UNLESS YOU COUNT BEING UNNOTICED!! 

I am so ignored its not funny. Teachers forget that I am in their class. The other day a student elbowed me in the face and didn’t even realize. I mean just hurt my damn nose and walk away…it’s all good. Jerk.

I guess that somehow, being ignored has it’s advantages. I don’t get involved in all the messed up drama that happens. Like when Ron called Jessie a “Fat F***” (and her figure is not much better than mine). And besides the rumor that I was lesbian not much is said about me behind my back.

I laughed my rear end off when someone I asked me if I was really a Lesbo. Then I screamed at them that no one cares because there is nothing wrong with being gay and that if they are so damn homophobic they should go and rot in hell because the world doesn't need closed minded a**h***s like them. People honestly irritate the living daylights out of me.

But I actually began to wish I was gay at the start of grade 10, because that is when my sexual orientation messed everything up for me…yes i fell for a guy. I fell hard. 

i found it hard to believe myself but it happened.

Crash