Child's Play ➳ Azula

Preface

Azula looked at the child in its bassinet. She knew she was not cut out for motherhood; she was designed for war, not motherhood. Her own mother had thought of her to be a monster; how could a monster look after a child and direct them onto the right path? During a few of the sleepless nights, she had considered motherhood to be like a war. If her father had still been running the nation, she would have had Yuyan Archers after the man who had done this to her, helped bring this burden upon her. Alas, it was her brother in charge now and there was nothing she could have done. Zuko was weak, he wouldn't have ordered harm on to a human being unless they truly deserved it in his opinion. His little sister having a child with an unknown man did not build up enough rage in him to have the unknown man executed.

The man whom she had done the deed with was definitely from the fire nation, but not a noble. From what Azula could remember, he had dark hair and brown eyes. She never asked for his name, most likely due to her inability at the time to even remember her own name. She never got to know him. It was over quickly. About a month later, her half-sister, Kiyi, had apparently heard her retching and had gone to her mother and father's room to alert them. Ursa had only seen Azula twice since her return from the mental institution. Azula simply did not want to see her mother, the one whom had mentally scarred her for years upon years. Ursa put the child back to bed and left her room, walking to a room she did not want to go to. From the way that Kiyi had explained the random occurrence of Ursa's first-born daughter retching, Ursa decided that her eldest daughter may need advice. Azula was better and she wouldn't roll on the floor and scream once she met her mother's eyes anymore. This time once her mother had knocked on her door, she let her come in and embrace her. She did not let her mother offer her advice but she did let her mother console her as she cried; maybe it was the fact that Azula was so out of it that she couldn't bring herself to care whom was there to comfort her. Comfort was weird concept to Azula, it was a very foreign concept to her, still. Azula, had tried her hardest to recover quickly and now she was being thrown a complete curveball, somehow, she still managed to seem as okay as she could to everybody except her mother. The only thing Azula was afraid about was losing herself again. If she saw too much of herself in this unborn child she would slowly crack and send herself back into madness, leaving her stupid brother and his wife; one of her ex-best-friends, to watch over her child. She did not want to have a child, but she did not want to kill an unborn child either. She was conflicted and she let out her emotions to a woman who had haunted her mind for years.

Azula had been seeing visions of her mother since her best friends had betrayed her at the boiling rock, and they had peaked a year and a half in to her stay at the mental institution. It was when her mother had finally gathered the courage to see her first-born daughter and she had talked to her that the visions had slowly gone away. Ursa had been told that Azula's condition was worsening and she went against her son's command to not see her. Azula was dangerous but as a precaution to keep the former fire lady safe, Azula had been muzzled and her straight jacket had been tightened. Azula could do nothing but listen to her mother's words. When Ursa saw the condition her daughter was in, she was saddened, seeing Ozai had not been nearly as painful as seeing her daughter struggle. The muffled screams and cries as Azula rolled on the floor in a panic were enough to pierce Ursa's heart like one of the jagged pieces from the mirror that Azula had smashed with her hairbrush during Sozin's comet. Ursa had hoped that her daughter's fall into insanity wasn't her fault; that she wasn't seeing visions of her, but from the immediate reaction that Azula had displayed, it became all too clear.

Azula let herself inhale and exhale as she watched the child look back at her, she saw too many of her own physical features in the child already, she was praying that this child did not end up being like her. She was making it her duty to at least raise the child with a mother's love, unlike herself. She hated being kind to others but being nice and caring for this infant could change its future of being like its mother. She prayed that the infant was a non-bender, she prayed that the infant wouldn't be able to have the same power that she had. She didn't want her child to succumb to the same fate that she had. Azula may have been born lucky but luck does eventually run out, and hers had run out during one of the most pivotal times of her life.