speechless; vkook {sequel to voices}

~ thirteen ~

{ Taehyung's POV }

I opened my eyes to the sound of the door opening to my room. My head hurt as I tried to look up and see who it is, so I gave up again and closed my eyes. I heard the footsteps getting closer and someone trying to remove their jacket quietly.

"Taehyungie?" My heart jumped at the oh so familiar voice and I opened my eyes. I saw a face with puffy eyes and tear stained cheeks and my heart broke. It was my Jungkookie. He smiled as he saw I was awake and put a hand on my cheek. Why does he still love me? Why is he still here? I broke up with him and hurt him. Why would he still want me?

He pulled away briefly to type something into his phone before sitting down on the bed next to me. I can't give into him. I'll only hurt him more. Even if it kills me, I need him to know that we're done. My eyes water at the thought of it, but it's just the way life needs to be. I'm toxic for him. He doesn't deserve that.

He reached out for my hand, but I quickly pulled it out of reach making his eyebrows furrow together. I can't let my guard down. I can't let him in. "What's wrong?" He asked with apologetic eyes. I felt my heart twinge, but forced myself to give him a glare before looking away.

"Hyung..don't you want me here?" The question broke my heart. Yes Jungkook. Don't ever leave. I met my eyes with his again and tried to put up my best death glare. I saw him break right before my eyes, again. He looked down at his hands for a few moments before looking back at me with a new expression locked on his face. This one was full of pain and anger along with a million other emotions I couldn't read, and it scared me shitless.

"So this is what I get, huh? I sacrifice so much just to make sure you're okay and you're happy even if it's my own happiness and this is what I get?!" He's raising his voice for the first time to me. I feel myself sink lower under the blankets trying not to shake.

"You break up with me and then you come back and can't even talk to me?! You know what? You're selfish, Taehyung. So goddamn selfish. Who gave you the right to hurt me, huh?! Who said you could come into my life just to make me hate myself?! Who said after almost seven years you could try and leave me, permanently?! Do you even think about me anymore?!"

His words sent daggers into me as the beeping of my heart rate monitor sped up. "What was the point in writing that letter?!" He shouted as he got closer to my face and I felt my lips tremble. "You obviously didn't mean anything in it! If you did you would speak to me and not give me such hate filled looks! Do I not mean shit to you anymore?!" His voice cracked at the end as tears began to rush down his cheeks. I watched as he started backing towards the door. Please don't go, I love you, and I'm so fucking sorry.

"And to answer your question, yes. You did become the love of my life; but now you're just a person I wish I'd never met."

And with that he left me shaking with nothing more than more self hatred and a slam of the door.

~~~

A/N: it'll get better soon, I promise <3