speechless; vkook {sequel to voices}

~ ten ~

{ Jungkook's POV }

I woke up to a pain in my gut. It felt like nervousness and worry, and the gap on the bed next to me explained why. I looked around the room and there was no sign of Taehyung. Where did he go? Did he panic and move to the couch?

I slide on my slippers and shuffle out to the hallway. It's completely dark and there's no light coming from the living room. Weird. Where could he have gone? "Taehyung!" I called out in a loud whisper and continued down the hallway. It was only 3 in the morning. I stopped at the light under the bathroom door.

I knocked and no answer. I didn't expect him to say much since he hasn't been talking. I knocked again. Still nothing. "Taehyungie?" I asked and tried to turn the doorknob finding it locked. I wiggled it, but stopped when I heard light sobs and groaning. What was he doing?

My heart beat faster as my brain whirled with all the possibilities. "Taehyung. Open the door." I said as sternly as I could. It was hard trying to hide the worry in my voice. I turned when I heard another door open to reveal a sleepy Hoseok.

"Jungkookie what are you doing?" I cracked at the question and tears filled my eyes.
"Taehyung is in there and he's crying and sounds hurt, but he won't open the door!" I raised my voice as I frantically shook the doorknob. Hoseok walked to my side and knocked on the door.

"Kim Taehyung you unlock this door or we'll break it down!" Hoseok shouted. We got quite as we heard a very slight movement and the click of the door. Neither one of us hesitated to shove open the door. Taehyung stumbled backwards as my eyes widened.

There were blood streaks on the floor and pills scattered everywhere. I felt my heart drop as my voice came out in a choking mess. Hoseok ran to wake the others as I dropped to my knees. Taehyung sat with his knees to his chest trying to stop the blood pooling from his wrists.

He looked up at me with fear in his eyes and sweat pouring down his face mixed with tears. I unconsciously slid myself over to him and scooped him into my lap. In that moment everything around me stopped. There he was looking up at me in embarrassment as his face grew increasingly pale. His eyes began to droop, bringing me back to reality.

"Taehyungie.." I cried out and held him tight to my body. "Please stay with me." I whispered into his ear. I pulled him away so I could see his face to find his eyes glossy and a rather blank expression on his face. "No no no." I mumbled repeatedly before pressing my lips to his unresponsive ones. That did something though, because as I pulled away his eyes met mine.

"You can't leave me Tae." I choked out. His eyebrows furrowed together and he closed his eyes tightly. I brought my hand up to his cheek and his eyes opened. His hand shakily raised up to meet mine.

"..K-Kookie...I-I'm s-s-sorry." He said in a hoarse voice as pain drew itself quickly on his face. My vision clouded over with tears and I couldn't help the smile on my face as I brought him closer to me. I didn't care about the blood on my clothes as Taehyung wrapped his arms around my neck. My Taehyungie..he finally talked to me.

"You did it Tae. You finally talked to me." I whispered into the crook of his neck, but when I pulled away his eyes were closed and his mouth hung open, blood glistening over his teeth. I touched his cheek. Nothing.

"Taehyung! Stay with me! Please! I can't lose you!" I screamed as people dressed in white rushed into the small bathroom tearing him from my arms. I tried to grip onto his shirt, but Yoongi rushed in holding me back. He can't leave me he can't. My whole body felt numb and weak like his presence alone was the only thing keeping me alive. And maybe..just maybe he was.

I felt multiple pairs of arms lift me to my feet and out the front door to our dorm. My legs were apart from the rest of me, leading me out to the van in just my slippers and night clothes. We all piled in and followed the siren all the way to the big hospital.

With the help of Yoongi and Namjoon I followed them into the building and followed the bloodstained bed all the way to the trauma center. I fell to the ground as we were stopped outside two double doors. Most of the things after that were a blur between screaming and crying to being escorted into a soundproof family room, a pager put into my hand.

As the time passed with no news I looked outside to see the sun rising. Soon the day would begin and we'd have to process what to do about the situation in a business aspect. As if he were called, in came out producer with our manager. I was surprised to see the puffy eyes of them. They were hurting too.

"I'm really sorry guys." Our manager said and enveloped us in a group hug that I felt no warmth from despite Jin's arm around my neck and Jimin's arm around my waist. After he pulled away our producer stepped up.

"Well boys. It's been a hard night for all of us. This has been quite the tragedy nobody expected, and unfortunately we still don't know of his condition, and have only been told that it's very very critical. Now the staff and I have decided the fans will know nothing of this. Taehyung is just very sick, but you guys have an award show to attend tonight-"

"I'm sorry sir, but seriously? You're making us go to the award show when we don't even know if one of the members of our group is alive? Are you serious?" Yoongi piped up leaving everyone shocked, but nodding in agreement.

"You guys just have to go. You're nominated for three daesangs. That's not something you guys can afford to lose, and not showing up would not be good. Please just cooperate for tonight. Then you guys can have a week off, alright? Now, you have two hours before we're leaving to get ready."

And with that he bowed and left.

Please don't leave me Taehyung.

~~

I went through the rest of the day numbly as I get pampered for the evening to come. None of us talked much which was okay. I didn't have the words to describe how I was feeling, especially with no news of Taehyung.

I stood from my seat and looked in the mirror only to see something I hated so much. Me. He's dying because of me, and I'm standing here with girls trying to figure out which way to part my hair. I scoffed and shook my head. Is this really what my life has become? Where 'the show must go on' has taken over my instincts to be with the person I love so much that's hurting so bad.

As soon as we were all ready we were ushered into limousines. Jimin, Hoseok, and I in one and the other three in the second one. The ride was silent and not even our happy virus smiled as we pulled up to the red carpet.

We got out of the cars and met in the middle to walk through the flashing and screaming. "Showtime." Namjoon whispered and we all knew what that meant as we plastered smiles on our faces and waved to everyone. We took our place on stage and turned in different angles for the cameras. We bowed and walked off stage as we were ushered into the stadium for the main events of the night.

I sat down at the end of our VIP couch and found my thoughts being led to Taehyung. I smiled to myself as I remember the boy I fell in love with back at the university, but that memory soon made me feel pain as my chest tightened up. The tears were trying their hardest to fall, but I knew I couldn't let them. I shoved my hands in my pockets for the first time that night and flinched as my fist crunched some paper.

I took the folded up paper out of my pocket and unfolded it quietly while the other boys talked.

'Dear Jungkookie ah,'

My eyes skimmed the page and I couldn't help the tears falling. I shoved the paper back into my pocket and looked up at the others still in their own worlds. Now was my chance.

I'm going to see him, whether he's dead or alive.

~~~

A/N- jfc 1494 words I'm shook

I bet y'all hate me now

It'll be okay I promise