Heartbeat

Another Christmas; Gas Stations

Alex-

Another Christmas passed by with him. A wonderful, extravagant Christmas for that matter. Seeing him with his family is something that makes me happy. To see him smiling with his sister and hugging his mother tightly, no longer a fake smile to convince them that he is happy, but a real, warm, genuine grin.

There are no longer nights of me just crying to him about how I don't know what's wrong with me, because now I do. I know I will probably deal with anxiety the rest of my life, not as bad as it used to be, but I know how to handle it. All I need is Harry by my side, and I'll be fine. I've come to complete terms that my mother and sister are gone, and I know that grieving and trying not to think of them at all will not help the feelings disappear.

I no longer feel anger or dispair when I talk about them, it actually brings good memories and a smile to my face when I do.

I lie in bed in silence with Harry, Christmas Day coming to a closure. Harry had spoiled me and his family to no ends, getting his sister her favorite perfume with my help, and his mother a diamond heart necklace that she even cried over. She'd never had a real diamond piece of jewelry besides her wedding ring from Harrys father which is nestled in her jewelry box. He got them other things that made them smile and hug him, which he returned while mumbling I love you's. It made me miss my family, but Harrys right, this is my family.

The diamond on my ring finger that they all swooned over is even more proof to that. Harry bought me a few books from the bookstore I still work at, which I'd only mentioned I'd wanted about once, and it was brief and just a small statement. But he pays attention to a lot more than I know. He also got me perfume, his favorite that he likes on me.

"I wish my mother and sister were here to see this." I pick my hand up from his chest to look at the ring once again.

His hand runs over my arm as he hums in agreement.

"You think they would've liked me? My family?" He asks.

"Of course." I laugh softy.

"What is there not to like? You're mother and sister are lovely." I speak.

"And I'm not?" He jokes.

"You're more than lovely, Harry." I state matter-of-factly.

"Oh yeah?" He chuckles.

"Yeah." I rest my hand back down to its original place, absently twirling the cold metal around my finger.

"Who helped you pick it out?" I ask curiously.

"Louis and Eleanor." He chuckles.

"Wow, they actually kept their mouths closed?" I laugh.

His arms tighten around me as he laughs along, sighing before tucking his face into my hair.

"Love you."

"Love you, Harry."

*****

Harry-

My mother stands out on the driveway as I stuff our bags into the backseat of my car, her arms wrapped around herself for warmth, a frown on her lips.

"Mum, we'll see you soon." I tell her as I give her a tight hug, rubbing her back to give her some warmth.

"I know honey, I just miss you guys already." She speaks.

I shake my head softly to myself, trying not to laugh at her motherly nature. We said goodbye to Gemma this morning before she left for work, and it was much easier than this.