One Direction Preferences

#30 He Saves You(Requested) Zayn

***TRIGGER WARNING***

Suicide Attempt/Rape

Your POV You can’t stop it, can’t make it go away, can’t make it stop hurting. When ever you shut your eyes you have the same nightmare. Every time you sleep you relive that night. ‘A cold blade pressed hard against your neck. “Don’t move, don’t make a sound, and I won’t hurt you” He growls from behind you. Ripping down your jeans and taking what he wants. Any movement, any sound and the edge digs into you skin leaving lines of fresh blood on your neck.’

The only person that can help you battle the pain is across the world, and has been for months. Zayn always made you feel better, he numbed the pain. If you were screaming, he sang away all the memories, and helped you sleep. He made you feel safe again. Since your attack you’ve been diagnosed depression. But you were never to sure about it until he left for tour. “It’ll pass in a flash babe, I promis.” That felt like ages ago. Your laying In bed, fighting your tired eye lids.

Every time they close you can feel the blade against your throat. It hurts, something hurts and it wont stop. Zayn has some leftover pain meds from when he hurt his hand. I can use those. You leapt out of bed and across the floor to the bathroom. The brightness burns your eyes, when you flip on the lights. The medicine cabinet didn’t have much in it, so you found what you were looking for rather quickly. Some small green pills to help you sleep, and some big white ones to get rid of the pain.

In that second you thought about how easy it would be to make it all stop. Swallow a few of these pills and it will be over. Zayn shouldn’t have to take care of me, he should be having fun, traveling. He cant do that if he is worried about me all the time. You filled the glass next to the sink with water, and poured the pills from both bottles into your hand. You swallowed them, washing them down with the water, and slumped against the bathtub.

His POV The lights are off all through the house, pretty normal it’s like 2 am. I set my suitcases inside the door. We have a few weeks off, and I didn’t tell Y/N, I wanted it to be a surprise. The bed is empty the space she normally occupies just a heap of blankets.

A sliver of light from the bathroom door, floods through the room. She must be in there. When I open the door I don’t see her, until I look down at the floor. She is in front of the bathtub, her head on the floor. Her body is trembling. “Y/N?” I sputtered, falling to my knees at her side. “Y/N!” I yelled this time. That’s when I noticed the empty pill bottles on the floor next to her.

"No, NO, no, NO, no, no" I uttered lifting her off the floor and pressing my ear to her chest. Her heart barley beating, her skin burning hot. I need to cool her down, I set her in the shower and turned on the cold water. She needs to throw up, it needs to come out. I pulled off my leather jacket and got into the shower, putting her over my lap. My fingers went to her mouth trying to get her to throw up. It worked, she started coughing up water and pills, tons of pills.

She kept throwing up, taking deep breaths in between each gag. When she finished she turned and looked at me. Her beautiful eyes scanning me as if I wasn’t real. “Zayn, I didn’t—- I wanted— He was going to come back, those dreams kept coming back. Zayn.” She sobbed into my already wet shirt. There are no words to explain how angry I am at her, for doing this to herself. But it’s not her fault I left her all alone. I love her more than anything and she almost slipped through the cracks. I pulled her closer to me holding her as the cold water cooled her off.