The Decision

Chapter 12

~Amy's view~

I put down my phone and laid it on the nightstand. I pulled the duvet over me and shook my little, confused head. Justin is leaving today. I don't know what to think or what to do. He is going to New York. And I think he will stay there. Forever.
Everyone says that he's only going to record some demoes, but those people haven't heard him sing. They haven't seen him singing a song, writing a song, only for them. They haven't seen his smile when he dances, when he sings to only you. Sometimes I just wish he wasn't good at singing. Sometimes I wish that he could just be normal. And that I could know for sure that he would never ever leave me, but I can't.
I got out of my duvet cave and took a deep breath. My phone began to vibrate and it got closer and closer to the edge of the nightstand.
-Shit! I rolled over to the edge of my bed and stretched out my arm as long as it was. My phone fell down on the floor with a small bang. Why am I always too late at catching stuff?
I stood up and placed it in my cold hand. It had scratches all over it and it gave me a little buzz.
-Ouch! My mum is going to be so mad! What am I supposed to do now?
-Amy? I heard footsteps coming closer and closer to my door. I threw my phone into my messy bed and sat down in front of the mirror. I pretended to put makeup on and found my red lipstick.
-Hello, Amy! Slept well? My mum had a few folded clothes in her hands and laid them on my second nightstand.
-Yeah, I did, I said while putting some eyeliner on. I knew my mum didn't really care. I knew she just small talked with me. She always did and I realized that I have never had a real conversation with her! Maybe when I was a little kid, but I didn't understand anything at that age. I wonder why she is like that. Why can't she just care about me, like normal mothers?
My mum went out of my room and downstairs again. I heard the front door open and close twice. They left for work. Both my mum and my dad. And they didn't even say goodbye? They didn't even tell me that they were leaving. What kind of parents are that? I guess they don't even know I have a boyfriend!
I picked up my broken phone and tried to adjust the brightness on it. But it was dead. At least I had a second cellphone I could use. Cause I'm a rich bitch.

My phone was dead and so was I. I was starving! My body followed my legs downstairs and into the kitchen. I found a bowl and some cereal. I poured some milk on top of it and started eating. It tasted horrible, but at least the milk wasn't old this time.
I was freezing. I only wore a singlet and a shorts and now it was winter. On my way to put on some more clothes, the doorbell rang. Haha! Karma! I guess my parents forgot their car keys or something! I opened the door and faced the most beautiful person I know. His eyes sparkled when he looked at me. His light brown hair hung from the top of his head and down to his thick and dark eyebrows. He smiled and handed me a candy bar. He knew I loved them. My boyfriend knew that. It was him. Justin.
-Um, hi! I said shyly.
-Hey, Justin said as he leaned in to kiss me. I pushed away and he almost tripped on top of me and the candy bar fell on the floor. I don't know what's going on inside my head. And I absolutely want it to stop!
-What was that all about? Justin said straightening up. I could see sadness inside his eyes. I hated to see that and I hated myself for making him feel that way. What if he asks me what is wrong, I mean, I don't even know that myself.
-Oh, umh, nothing..
-Amy? Justin and I motioned towards the sofa. Oh no! I totally forgot I only had my sleeping clothes on!
-I have to change clothes! Sorry! This is so embarrassing! I'll be right back, Justin! I stood up and hurried to my room, but Justin took a grip around my wrist and my body wasn't strong enough to continue running.

He let go of my hand and I started fiddling with my fingers. Justin saw me fiddling and he immediately looked like he understood me.
-Amy, tell me what's wrong, please baby. Justin almost begged and I couldn't say no to those beautiful eyes.
-Well, I guess I just don't want you to go. I didn't smile when I said that. But I wasn't sad either. I wasn't angry, but I wish I was. I wish I knew what I felt and why. I don't want to be mad at myself or Justin anymore. All I want is to be happy, once and for all.
-But A, I'm just going for three weeks! Justin took my hands in his and looked me in the eyes. He is such an amazing person. I don't understand how he isn't loved by everybody, everybody in the whole world.
-I know, Justin! It's nothing really! I'm just going to miss you I guess.
I didn't feel comfortable anymore. I didn't feel comfortable being around Justin. He would just ask questions and figure out the truth. Figure out what I really wanted.

~Justin's view~
Amy had been acting weird all day. I knew something was up with her, but I didn't know what. I know I'm going to New York and all that, but we have already talked about that. I asked her to come with me actually. But she couldn't. She has school and all that. She can't afford to skip school anymore. With afford, I don't mean money-afford, but she has been ill very many times and missed many classes. Maybe that's what it is! Maybe she just really wants to come with me?
-I'm going to miss you too, Amy! But you have to listen now. Sit down, please. I had to get it out of her. Get the truth out even though it may take minutes and hours.
We sat down in the sofa and I still held her hands.
-Justin, can I just go change first? I promise you that nothing is wrong! Everything has just happened so fast, and that's all! Amy looked different today. She looked pale. Very pale.
-Are you alright, Amy? I said while placing my hand on her cheek. She was cold too, maybe I should let her change clothes. She just looked so beautiful where she sat and usually she doesn't care that much what she wears when we're together. I don't understand what's wrong!
-Yeah? Amy said strangely.
-I guess you should put on something warmer then, I'm leaving soon anyway.
-Umh, thanks! Wait a little so I can say goodbye, okay? Amy looked kindly at me. But something in her eyes had changed.
-Yeah, of course!
I should have let her go from the start. I feel like it's my fault that she is cold and pale. I feel like what was about to happen next is my fault. But it can't be, right?