Refusal

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I won’t live in this empty, bleak
misery of a sunken ground-zero,
trees, black anemones
straining the grey murk
for microbes of dusk,
rain-streaks distracting
a bathyscaphe screen.

I deserve better too than share
leathern, drawn anxieties,
waiting rooms,  the sere care,
the chronic torture there,
numbered days corridored
with forgetfulness.

It is you I must let go to hear
the cavalry of my own contentment
rhythm shells of days,

breathe easy in air,
I never shared
with you, flowing through
my own lifelines,
boyhood eager to work the pumps
for this old deep sea diver.

A thousand unsleeping eyes
of hawthorn, dulled but watchful,
as I lift this pearl.

...

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