Blind Insanity

20 - Chapter Twenty - 20

20 - Chapter Twenty - 20

I was more than happy not to take those pills.  Dr. Hermond had came back to ask if I had taken them and I had told him that I had.  He did not notice how my left eye twitched when I said this, he just took the water.  The water didn't look purple any longer, it looked mainly like normal water.  Dr. Hermond wouldn't have noticed it since he had not seen it change.  I, however, had watched it from the moment that I had dropped the pills into the water.

The water had gone from red, blue to purple.  After that, the purple had gotten lighter and lighter until there was just the faintest hue of color to it.  It was almost unnoticeable unless if one would stare at the water, which was unlikely.  Dr. Hermond surely would not notice it, and he didn't.

However...

Perhaps those pills might have been a good thing.

'One, two, three.'

There are some days that I can act normal.  Those days are the ones that I can talk to the doctors and to the nurses as if I was on the same level as them.  They still thought that I was insane and stupid, but they were wrong.  I could think and even decipher what was behind the mask of what they were telling me.  No, I wasn't stupid as they thought I was.

But then there were those other days.  I will admit they happen more than I would like them too, but thankfully the only happened maybe three, four, days a month.  If I'm lucky a day every two months.  But those are the days that I just seem to snap.  It was these kind of days where insanity is truly my only friend in the world.

It consumes me, devours me whole and throws me into the darkness where all that I have is my mind.  That is not a good thing to have when insanity is lurking near to turn what seems like the darkness into a true and utter nightmare.

'My dear old friend.'

Maybe I should have taken those pills.  Maybe they would have been able to stop it, but I did not trust the head doctors.  I didn't want to know what they had put in those pills and I would rather suffer my insanity than to take mysterious pills that they had created.

For, I was sad to say, that this was one of those days.

It was the day that I would lose my mind to something that I would never be able to control.  No matter what the doctors try, it never works.  No matter what type of drug they give me to knock me out, it never does.  It was like my body knew what to do and they didn't work on me. 

During these kinds of days, they would normally lock me up in my room and ignore my bloody screams of insanity.  Not this time.  This time I was still in the infirmary, there were no walls that I would have to claw at, no doors that I would throw my body against countless times.  I felt sorry for poor Dr. Hermond at that moment, because he didn't know what the hell to do with me.  He was just staring at me with wide fearful eyes.

'The rain is coming.'

"Are you afraid?" I asked the air, more pointedly towards the doctor who was still gawking at me with wide filled eyes.

'Fear of the madness.'

I started laughing hysterically as I opened and closed the curtains as if I was playing a game of 'peek a boo' with the thin air.  Dr. Hermond was looking worried by his desk, his eyes locked onto me no matter what I did or where I went.  He didn't know what to do with someone who had truly gone around the bend.  "Oh Alice, where are you oh ALICE!" I sang and screamed out her name as I twirled and spun my hair.  "OoooOOOooooh, my hair is so so so pretty," I giggled and ran my fingers through it.