Blind Insanity

15 - Chapter Fifteen - 15

15 – Chapter Fifteen – 15

When I woke up, I was on my cot with my new blanket laid across me.  When I opened my eyes, I blinked slowly and stared up at the spotted ceiling.  Even though I had put my old blanket in the corner, I could still hear the dripping as if it seeped into everything that I did.  At least it wasn’t the sound of my blood dripping any longer.  Just the thought and the imaginations of that left me having nightmares after each session.  I did not like the sound of dripping blood, it was worse than the dripping in the corner of my room.

I turned my head enough so that I could look towards where the window was.  The lights above were off, outside it had become night.  There was a sliver of faded moonlight as if the clouds were thin enough to where the moon could fight some of its way through.  Just that faded moonlight made the shadows dance across the walls, even when there was nothing moving inside.  Was my mind playing tricks on me again? I wondered as I watched one particular shadow jump up in the air and land on another.

‘Are you awake?’

I opened my lips and lout out a soft sigh.  My body was so weak from the taking the blood that I could barely even do that much.  It was so hard for me to move, to even keep my eyes open at this point.  Whenever I tried to move a finger, it didn’t work.  There was no strength whatsoever left in me.  When morning arrived, I might be able to twitch a finger, but that would be the extent of it.

What would the nurse do when she came to take me to go see Dr. Stanza?  It wasn’t like I could just jump up and skip down the halls.  I couldn’t even open my lips to say a single word.  In this condition I couldn’t do anything, it was impossible.

‘You can’t move.’

The doctors would more than likely tell her that I had an episode during the treatments and to tell Dr. Stanza that I wouldn’t be able to make it.  Wasn’t that usually their kind of thing to say?  There were doctors and nurses in this place that didn’t know about the treatments or the full on drugs that made everyone the way that they were.  That was the usual kind of thing they told them whenever something like this would happen to a patient.

This treatment, in my opinion, was the worst.  It was the worst because I couldn’t move.  My body had to make up more blood to get myself moving again.  It took days for my body to do that.  In those days, I would stay in here and do nothing but listen to the dripping.  The dripping became more prominent and I knew that the blanket would be soaked through by now.

‘We want to dance.’

All of it was due because my brother had come to visit me.  And yet I would stand this because I knew that he would come back to see me again.  Just that simple thought made me want to leap up and scream at the top of my lungs.  Either that or just start bawling my eyes out.  I really did have someone out there that actually cared about me.  In fact he had been looking for me.  I didn’t think that I would ever have that happen, but it was true. 

My parents couldn’t care less about me, but the big brother that I had once known had looked all over the place.  Once he got tired of doing that and coming up with nothing, he confronted our parents demanding to know where I was.  He was like the big brother that I remembered as a child.  Always trying to look out for me eve despite the voices.  He had always overlooked the voices, not saying anything about them when I did speak of them.

‘We wish that you would read us a story.’

I can’t read a story, I wish I could tell them.  The voices would sound all mopey and sad throughout the night just because I couldn’t read a story to them.  After awhile of hearing them complain about not listening to a story, they would disappear for a couple of hours to pout, they didn’t get what they wanted.  It wasn’t the first time that they had done this, and I knew that it wasn’t going to be the last either.  So for now, I would listen to them grip and complain, repeating the same thing over, until they disappeared for an hour or two.