20 Seconds Of Pure Embarrassing Courage

~Risk~

Life is filled with so many exciting twists and turns. Hop off the straight and narrow whenever you can and take the winding paths. Experience the exhilaration of the view from the edge. Because the moments spent there, that take your breath away, are what make you feel truly alive.

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~Risk~

"Hi. My name's Blake."

Those were the words that started everything.

I looked up at the boy next to me in pure awe. He had golden blonde hair that feel just the right way and magnificent crisp, icy blue eyes that were staring directly at me. He seemed almost nervous to be talking to me, like he was afraid of the words I was about to say. He looked vaguely familiar; like a random face I had seen at a concert, or at the movies or in the park. I knew the face but not the name...well not until now.

"Hi. I'm Raenah." I say with a smile.

In retrospect, talking to a complete stranger while also giving him my name may have not been the best idea but that moment I honestly wasn't thinking right. I was so caught up in his eyes and that goofy smile that spread out wide the moment I responded I wasn't even thinking of the consequences until the moment had past.

 I was always like that. A free spirit or as my friends call me, a tornado. I always just right into something with giving it much thought. I took action before I actually knew what I was doing. Pretty much I would start something without the slightest clue of what I was doing and think of a plan on the way there. Maybe that's why thinks ended so badly with Ryan? I treated a relationship like it was homework; a chore and something I was forced to do but yet reluctant... or at least that's how Ryan put it less than three months ago when he declared his love for me. 

I wasn't a player; I just could never handle relationships. They involved too much; they always expected you to talk to you and for you to come to you with your problems and it was just a pain to be in one. I was a free spirit, I was always on the move and it was hard for me to stay put with one person when a million other people are out there in the world. Even though I wasn't a player, I was experienced. I was still a virgin but that didn't mean was a prude. Even growing up I was experienced.

By the end of Kinder Garden I had already had my first kiss, by Seconds Grade I was already dating and already discovering that relationships weren't my forte. But Third grade was when everything changed. You know that moment when you realize that people out there really and truly want to hurt, I discover that my Third Grade year. Third Grade year was the year I discovered what it meant to be back stabber, betrayed, abandoned. That was the year I locked myself up from my family, my friends, from the world.

At our school our playground had a large jungle gym area on the right and a swing set to the left, above it was a small field where some kids would play and organized game of soccer or football. Connecting the two was a small incline that went all around the perimeter of the playground of to the side of the playground was a large open plain with a cluster of oak trees in the corner at the end of the property by the road. I had been walking around the small hill that connected the field to the jungle gym area looking for my friends.

While I was walking I could see a girl, Kennedy I think as her name was coming towards me. I had never really spoken to Kennedy but were had a lot of mutual friends and we had been in the same class for the past two years so she wasn't a complete stranger just some girl I had never spoken to.

"Hey Raenah!" She said flashing me a smile.

"Hey Kennedy." I replied, still looking for my friends.