Chapter 1

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Chapter one

I turn off my car and let out a long breath while taking off my glasses and rubbing my face. I put my glasses back on and look at my self in the rear view mirror. My blue eye have bags under them I haven't been sleeping well. I shake my head “Who the hell am I kidding I haven't slept well for two years.” I mumble not since that night.

I growl to myself mustn't think about that night. My brown hair and beard are shaggy. “ I need a hair cut and trim my beard.” I sigh to myself. I heave my fat ass out of the car, I probably would feel better if I hit the gym and got rid of some of this weight I've put on but whats the point I got no reason to get rid of it.

I walk to my front door keys in hand to unlock it. I stare at my front door for a few seconds before I start thumping my head against it. I'm restless the beast is rattling its cage in my head. The beast is what I call my inner darkness very bad temper's run in the family when I get angry or stress it get's worse now add in two year's of depression and self loathing an it's always right below the surface now.

I turn and walk around my house and head into the woods behind my house. Even though it's nearly midnight the moon is full and walking in the forest normally calm's me down. But not tonight I walk and walk farther than I've ever walked before with thoughts of the dinner I just had with my mother and sister this evening.

<<<<<<<<<<Earlier That Evening>>>>>>>>>>

I stare at the door to my mothers house and I hate myself for wishing that I didn't have to go in side an have dinner with my mother an sister. It's not like I hate them but it's hard to be near even them after what happen that night two years ago when my world fell apart.

My mind wanders to that night I growl and shake my head angrily must not think about it I tell myself. I love my family I would kill for them but I can't let them touch me I don't trust my self not to lash out at them. It's hard for them they know something is wrong and it has to do with that night.

They've asked about that night. I lie to them about what happen. I just can't tell them what happen. When I don't want to admit it to myself that it happen.

I sigh and head into the house. It's a small single level three bed room house. It was the perfect house for a widow and her two children to settle in after the death of her husband.

I'm met in the living room by my sister Molly Hawkins I can say this objectively my sister is beautiful where I'm plain she takes after mother. She's 5'10” with dark brown wavy hair that women kill for. An as a guy I work with pointed out she's filling out nicely thanks swim team and gymnastics when she stopped by my work.

He didn't know she was my sister at the time. I quietly informed him with my hand wrapped around his throat. That she was my sister and that I would rip his balls if he went near her ever, the sleaze ball.

I've been doing that since she was fourteen. Now she's a eighteen year old high school goddess. I feel more like her father then her older brother. When I'm dealing with the boys she brings to the weekly dinner. What can I expect when I'm ten years older then she is.

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