You Can't Be Too Careful [Star Trek/Leonard "Bones" McCoy Love Story]

[16.] I Will Follow You Into The Dark

[16] I Will Follow You Into The Dark

The day that I had dreaded since the day my father had gotten sick had finally arrived. I stared into my coffee cup, watching as the sable substance rippled due to my shaking hands. Astrid sat next to me, holding my other hand and reading the copy of Jane Eyre that I had gotten her for Christmas aloud to me. But honestly, the words did not reach my ears. I heard her voice in the background of my buzzing mind. I didn’t know how or what to think or feel. Every thought that came to my mind, whether it be about something about as simple as the color of my pajama pants or something as drastic as my father’s passing, turned to mush and melted away.

“Catherine?” Astrid said softly, gently squeezing my fingers.

I snapped out of my trance and dropped my coffee onto the counter. The paper cup broke open and dark, hot liquid splashed all over the counter.

“Oh no,” I sighed, standing quickly and snatching a towel from the sink. As I began to soak up the spilled drink, I realized I was staining the dishtowel.

“Crap!” I cried, throwing it down. The coffee leaked over the edge of the counter and dribbled all over my shirt. Groaning, I dug my fingers into my scalp and held back a scream.

“Calm down, lass,” Astrid murmured gently. “It’s just a spill.”

I stared at the broken cup as she found a proper washcloth and cleaned up my mess. After tossing the dirty rag into the sink, she turned around to face me once more.

“It’s just like me,” I whispered, never tearing my eyes away from the torn, white mug.

“What is?”

“The cup,” I mused, “it’s just like me…”

Astrid raised an eyebrow. “Wha’ do ya mean?”

Eyes wide, I locked gazes with her. “I’m falling apart.”

Astrid frowned and I began to cry. Without another word, she pulled me into a tight hug. Her fingers slid through my tangled hair until it was smooth, undoing each and every knot with care. My warm tears soaked her shirt, but she was completely unfazed. She just held me and let me cry for the hundredth time since he had died.

When we pulled apart, she smiled dolefully at me. Her thick strawberry hair fell in messy waves around her familiar freckled face. No makeup outlined her ocean blue eyes, giving them a look of authenticity and tenderness that softened my heart a little.

“It’s okay,” she said, brushing a piece of my hair away from eyes. “I’m here ta put ya back together.”

 I dropped my head and sniffled.

“C’mon,” she cooed, “le’s go get ready. We have ta be there in an hour.”

I nodded, but did not say anything.

She quickly pulled her hair into a sophisticated updo and applied her makeup before carefully curling my hair and doing my makeup for me. When she finished, she slid away to get dressed. I did the same. I decided to wear a simple, royal blue dress. Daddy loved dark blues. He always said they held so much depth and mystery and beauty. I pulled on my heels, grabbed my purse, and went into the foyer to meet Astrid. She was wearing a customary black dress.

“Ready?” she asked.

“Ready as I’ll ever be,” I bemoaned.

We exited the house, hopped into the car that we had rented for the week, and drove off to the funeral home. I tugged on the ends of my curls the entire car ride there. Not only did I not want to have to face my grief, I didn’t want to face my relatives. Astrid took it upon herself to find daddy’s remaining family members and old friends (people that he hadn’t spoken to in years) and invite them to the ceremony. I knew that my grandparents (who I didn’t exactly get along with) would be amongst this group of people. The thought of having to be with them, or anyone else other than Astrid or Bones, literally made me sick to my stomach.