Letting You Go Was The Hardest Thing

Letting You Go Was The Hardest Thing - Chapter Eight

Letting You Go Was the Hardest Thing

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Chapter Eight

Picture on the side is Wade (Model Andrew Cooper)

Dalton

Seeing Charlie again was like subjecting me to complete familiar heartbreak. I felt like I was transported back to be being an eighteen-year-old, confronted with that excruciating pain of her rejection, knowing that she didn't feel the same way about me.

        I won't lie, it hurts like hell at how frosty she had regarded me. I was like an unwanted person that she wanted to expel out of her life like vomit. What was I expecting? That she would run into my arms and say she missed me like crazy? I would give anything in the world, even my arm and a leg just to hear her say that, but it was just wishful thinking. It would never happen again.

        A day after the confession, I was tempted to fight back and never give in to defeat. I'm a stubborn guy. I wanted to prove Charlie that she would learn to love me and we could make it work if she would give me that sliver of a chance, that one single opportunity. But it was clear in her eyes that she only cared for me as a friend, so I dejectedly decided to let it go and face the hurtful truth.

        We're nothing more than just friends.

        For the first time in my life, I cried myself to sleep for the love that I would never have.

        Through all that devastation, the excitement to wake up every morning with a smile on my face was a strain. I went on with my life like nothing had happened, as though I hadn't confessed my undying love to Charlie. Yet, inside, I was dead. Everything around me was just a piece of crap and keeping my friendship with Charlie was the hardest.

        Day after day was a struggle. Day after day, I was tormented with her beautiful face. Even in dreams, she followed me. I wanted to yell, scream or shout, anything at all to make her see the truth that we could make this work, but every time my will urged me to do it, the logical side of me would pull me back and say, No, it's not worth it. I needed a distraction and that is where Caroline came in.

        The desperation to move on led me to ask Caroline out a week after the confession. Charlie told me that she liked me, so why not? Might as well grab that chance, because after all, she liked me and maybe, just maybe, I would learn to like her back.

        And I did.

        Caroline helped me get back on my feet. She was sweet and compassionate. She wasn't the typical popular girl who would go up on your face and say, 'I rule this school, bitch. Get out of my way or I'll hurt you' type of girl. In fact, she was the complete opposite of that stereotype. She had her flaws; she may not be Charlie, but she was Caroline, up front and real. With every waking moment that I spent with her came with a price of neglecting my friendship with Charlie.

        I ditched her on purpose; my alibis have compiled on top of each other like a book from all those times I had purposefully missed our plans. I had no choice. I had to detach myself from her, make her believe that I was busy and wasn't giving her the time of the day. I pushed her away as far as I could go, and yet all the douche bag moves I did came with regret. She finally caught up.