I remembered something that happened in the 7th grade after he said that. There was a boy in my science class who asked if he could talk to me in private. We walked in the back of the school, where the kids normally left, and we stood right at the corner of the school, and he told me it was to assure me that he wasn’t going to try anything. When I heard that, I started to panic a little bit, only wondering what that could mean. Then, he told me that he loved me for a while now, and that he would like to go out with me. I told him that I wasn’t sure, because, well, I wasn’t interested in going out with anyone at the time. I was only concerned about my grades, and I told him that. But, I also said that I would think about it and give him an answer either tomorrow or the day after. That smile on his face made me feel terrible about a chance that probably wasn’t going to happen. His name, I had long forgotten, but I do remember that he had blue eyes. Blue as the sky itself. Those were the only two things I could seem to remember. That, and his reputation for being a playboy. Then next day, I didn’t see him in science. I also didn’t see him in the corner he confessed to me, the one where I was supposed to give my answer. I was so naïve, I figured that if I waited there, he would come. He genuinely had me worried. I went home at 7 pm. Then, the next day, Seifer, who had gone away for a while, caught me at the corner. He frowned and told me,
“Didn’t you hear? He died.” I swore that I felt my heart breaking when he told me that. I cried. Especially since I thought that I would give him a chance and that I would’ve said yes. So, I made a secret vow that I would never try to make anyone fall in love with me, and that if I did, I wouldn‘t say yes. And, no one really did confess to me at all since then. So, when I looked at Denzel, a boy I didn’t even really know, it made me wonder…
“Why?” He looked up at my {e/c} eyes and frowned.
“I know…it’s silly that I love you, even though you just met me and that I barely know you…but…I wanted to give you a chance…just because of the way Seifer talked about you…I…I want that. I want someone to talk that way about.”
“…Talk what way?” I asked, not even sure what I was saying anymore. He answered my question.
“To talk about them as if they were something worth talking about. To talk about them as if you would never tire of it. As if-as if you were talking about them like it was the first time and you would get really excited and look like you would burst. Like…they were someone you loved…and, with the way Seifer talked like that about you…I wanted to know you. There was this feeling in my chest, as if it were being tickled or-or that feeling like you can’t breathe, and I knew it had to be you…” He said, as if he were letting something go that had been bottled up for years. But, hearing that Seifer talked about me like that, his best friend, made me wonder if Seifer really wanted to be just friends. But, aside from that fact, I also wondered how someone could fall in love just by listening to a person they didn’t even know, let alone know how they looked like. Unless Seifer talked about my looks like that, too.
“…But, Denzel…if Seifer talked about me like that…don’t you think that he felt the same way about me?” I decided to say, giving it a try. Because, honestly, Denzel didn’t seem like the type to give up unless given a good reason. Denzel nodded.
“I know…but…it doesn’t mean I can’t try.” So he did know that…then again, even with him telling me this, it’s obvious. I sighed.
“Denzel, I can’t. I’m not looking for a relationship at the moment, I’m too busy with so many things.” I said. I remembered this. This was like that line I used on that boy. Denzel frowned.
“I’m not asking for much. I just want to be given a chance.” He said. I looked at him with a sympathetic look. I knew that look so well. It was like that boy’s face.
