Loch Ness Monster Explained

Chapter 9a - MONSTROUS - The Power Of Dom Perignon

Before I became aware that my share of the Loch Ness Monster Exhibition was to be spirited away, my relationship with Ronnie and Libby Bremner was good. Knowing that I had been surviving on small loans from the business for almost a year until the profits would begin to materialise, the generous side of the Brem splashed out on a holiday in the south of Spain for themselves, Wendy and me.

We stayed in top hotels and had a great time, but in particular I remember one evening in the millionaire's port of Puerto Banus when we were able to return the compliment.

We fought our way into a very busy piano bar on the waterfront and the four of us crowded around a tiny table, no more than half a metre in diameter. Ronnie ordered Champagne cocktails which shortly arrived. Champagne cocktails in Spain, of course, were made from the cheap, but tasty, local sparkling wine - Cava.

On the table was a list of drinks and cocktails available and I remember picking it up and browsing. There, among the bottles of wine which could be ordered, was Dom Perignon. Not only that, but it was the delightful 1971 vintage which Wendy and I later came to love on the rare occasions we could afford it and locate it. The big problem with Dom Perignon champagne was that Sean Connery's Bond had made it so famous that supplies could not keep up with demand. I seem to remember that it was available at around twenty pounds sterling per bottle (it is £90 in 2010). I decided we needed to repay Ronnie and his wife Libby for their generosity somehow ... they would accept no contribution towards the holiday ... so I called a waiter over, pointed at the Dom Perignon and asked for a bottle.

You would not believe how fast our circumstances changed. Two waiters rushed past us, evicted some locals from a prime booth by the piano and suddenly we were being ushered into the finest location in the bar. It is amazing the effect ordering that champagne had on the whole demeanour of the staff.

I have fond memories of some occasions with the Bremners and this was certainly one of them. The evening ended with Libby and myself, arm in arm, teetering along the quayside past millionaires' yachts singing "Summer Time".

(C) 2018 Tony Harmsworth