The day was bitter and filled
with sadness as my sad soul
wandered throughout the park,
recalling the way you smiled or laughed.
Only people who are lonely and loved, darling,
are up at three in the morning...but
when you are attracted to someone,
it's because of the details:
their kindness, their eyes, their smile,
the fact that they can get you to laugh
when you need to the most even though
you just don't have the strength or
reason to even smile.
You stay up, doesn't matter the time, thinking
about them because they are worth to be
thought about. They are worth your time, your
energy, your everything.
But here is the thing. I can't stay up. Because
the blue bottle of clear liquor is the only one
that will keep me company. Because the smoke
filling in my lungs only have it give out, turning me
into a hurricane of empty wind.
I miss you. Even though
we only talked a few times—
you've talked a few times.
I miss your company.
Remember when you told me your favorite
color was every single shade of blue? Every
shade you can imagine and make up?
As if you went around, splashing paint
onto a canvas and your result was a
thousand shades of blue.
Each with a different stroke.
Each with a different purpose in life.
What's my purpose?
